30 December 2023

Published December 30, 2023 by

I used to paint...





So, what to blog about today? I saw a friend painting something beautiful. And it reminded me of my own attempts in the past...well...I do not LOVE painting. I have to admit. But I wanted to create art for my own apartment at the time. And I just don`t buy art, if you know what I mean? By other people. Not if I can paint myself. It sounds selfish? I don`t know how it sounds, but I feel energy. So yeah...It feels wrong. I can`t have a photo of an unknown person on a pillow or a cup of coffee as "art" either. So, if I made it myself I would feel comfortable in my own home. BUT! I almost never paint. I know how to, ("How". What the bleep do we know? But I kinda feel that I could know this, you know what I`m sayin?) which stems from me being a natural visual artist. You know what I`m sayin? 😂*Bragging!* 😎 Not going to brag but...it is what it is. I am a very lazy one, if that tones down the ego a little bit here. My EGO is HUGE! Anyways; I truly, honestly am a loser in regards to even trying to master my own abilites and gifts. We all have them. But what are you going to do about it? And when? But in 2024...

"Okay, Shut up Mali! Shut up. Just don`t."....okay.

I get it. I don`t have new year`s resolutions. They don`t work anyway. Trust me, I know, because I have not tried. So they don`t work. 100% don`t work. But things are going better for me now. 

Going to sidetrack myself 100% 


Back in the day I used to sit on a chair and look at the collection of handbags getting out of control. It was really a hot mess. WHY the h*ll would anybody on this planet BUY a freaking expensive handbag? Or a tote..."Never full" tote by LV, WHY?  It`s never full anyway. (I actually don`t own one. Just wanted to make that clear.) I walk passed LV once in a while now. Not even ONCE do I stop. You kinda feel unwanted there. The security guard just automatically thinks you`re NOT a worthy LV owner and just starts to follow your every move. They even do this at Lidl here. Sometimes it`s like "Am I not even worth the bananas at Lidl?" By the way, I live in France. "Omg! Why didn`t you just start off by saying you live in France?" That is France in a nutshell. And no, you`re barely worth the bananas. In fact; the Lidl employers just want to go home. "No english!" *Thinking about leaving for the day. *Yells* "English anyone?" Everybody else there: "Non-non-non" French facial expression. Sticks out the lips and makes a sound. "Phuuu baaa...NON!" Like they indeed were born yesterday. I decided to just speak French in France from that day forward. And I have never experienced a similar episode again. Because you are actually making a SCENARIO for the whole shop to see. Believe me, they all turn their necks around to watch you not speaking French in the French grocery shop. 

But not everybody is like this. Rude to foreigners. Just wanted to make that clear. I was once almost stalked in the supermarket by a French lady as soon as I spoke English (Asking her about some product there.) Why? Well, she had a son in Australia. And just LOVED to practice her English. But in general I have not met many people interested in even trying to speak English. And in France they are not afraid of being direct and arrogant. (We, Norwegians are just arrogant but good at hiding it.) Okay, kind of a joke here. I think...😕 At least that`s what I`ve heard some foreigners say about us Norwegians. I do not see this at all, to be honest. We are overly helpful in situations like this. Some people almost to the point that they invite the foreigner home. Okay...let`s stop here!😂 Can be easily misunderstood.
 
Wow, I sidetracked myself OFF the topic, which was "I used to paint". YOU CAN do whatever you want on your own blog, though. And this is not only a blog. This is a universe! And I think this universe is starting to evolve to 5d! Oh, please! I should stick to painting myself, actually. I`m not going to go totally new age on you. I wouldn`t want anybody to go new age on me. Especially not that bald guy in the Norwegian news ALL the freaking TIME...was his name Durek? Hey, Norwegian media? How many more chances are you gonna give the dude? Leave him alone with his freakshow. It is NOT worth our time.😂 BUT If Martha started to express her beliefs to me (including Durek`s beliefs) I would be totally okay with it, because she would probably love the fact that I was inspired by her on The Norwegian Idol in 2006. I dressed up as a princess ready to meet my prince. So yes, we would hit it off and become BFF`s! No doubt! But maybe...just maybe we shouldn`t look through eachother`s eyes in the attempt to get rid of evil spirits. (Norwegian inside joke.)
 
Waiting for SOMETHING to happen! (The year of 2018) When the laziness took a toll on me. And the bags got uglier and uglier. Because I could  afford the cool ones in the beginning, but in the end...I desperately went to the thrift store owned by The Norwegian Salvation Army. (Fretex) And there was a limit to how cool they looked, you know. 



















I painted on boobs that I don`t have. Have no idea why. Is that weird? 

I just painted layer on layer. Aune Sand told me to. (A cool Norwegian dude with a headscarf that has a brother that paints fabolous paintings, called Vebjørn.). Met him inside his (brother`s and girlfrind`s) pop up art gallery once. Said he didn`t want to be on video jumping around like a rabbit. Which I respect. 😂

GREAT color combo. Love green with gold. Gives me life. Like peacock feathers growing on your arms.

Started to freaking look like me and that scared me. The next thing is totally going to be that this photo starts to attack me in the middle of the night. 

Choking me and screaming "Why did you freaking PAINT ME?" Started to think "Maybe I`m TOO good at this sh*t!" Scary feeling indeed if Stephen King calls me.

The comfort zone is when it is still kinda playful. Young, innocent. I kinda want to go back to how I painted in kindergarden. But the heart on the left side is going to attack me? Another attack? WHY? I guess this is my art. Sorry if you didn`t like it. 










Beautiful self-portrait of me right here!😂


Have a wonderful 2024 by the way! And remember to return to my blog. I will post more!...


 HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Although hashtags probably don`t work I`m still going to list them: #Paintings #Painter #Artist #Sidetracked-in-the-ADHD-spirit #TheFrenchPeople #Lidl-is-not-my-favorite-store


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! 👍 your photo name
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22 December 2023

Published December 22, 2023 by

I tried out TikTok but I deleted it!

 A freaking rant about social media: 

Sometimes you just need that one welcoming photo, so I took a few photos of myself  a few months ago. I was a little fatter (My mom is still reminding me on every video call!) the hair a littler greasier, the coffee cups a little bigger. And I embrace my past. Now I am a tørrlagt tørrkaffe drikker. I don`t drink anymore tørrkaffe. This part you English speakers can skip. For Norway only. You see, I am a huge star!

WHY did you do that? Delete TikTok! We love it!

I had a stalker that just bombarded my videos and my inbox with messages (I know who this person is!)
The problem with TikTok is that you can`t really control the messages. So it led me to deleting the application. Problem number 2 is that TikTok is TOO addictive. I already had plans to stop making videos there. But instead of just taking a break I just deleted it last night. I also changed the commenting system here om my blog to Disqus so that the same person does not write me here either. 
Blogger (formerly called "Blogspot") does NOT have a safe commenting system. This is something they (Google) should do something about. 

But anyways; I ain`t got time for blah blah blah or TikTok...my time is TICKING! 😂 Although I am 41 going on 14, but hey...

I got BETTER things to do like shake my head in homemade music videos! Music video can be found here; Hot Bitch! Do NOT get your hopes up!😂


Do you also not like TikTok? Why the filters? But the worse thing is the pimple popping stuff. WHY do people do that sh*t? I feel like that is the new low, as low as you can sink nowadays. You find it on Instagram too but Instagram is way more controlled. You don`t get so annoyed by the app. But I realized early on, after the first few days, that TikTok was not going to be a thing for me. It`s the worse time stealer I`ve experienced ever since that Norwegian TV program "Svalbard minute by minute". You just watch a ship on the ocean, minute by minute. Nothing ever happens and you still sit there. 

New great idea! I`m gonna become a TWITCHER instead...YEAH! I`m gonna send live, like 10 hours, and not turn my camera off. I`m gonna like have extra chargers to my phone and go totally crazy. The worse thing now is that some people actually do believe me. 

I actually do have a Twitch account.

Will I ever start? But the thing is; it is mostly for gamers anyway. But more and more vloggers have started over there. Live-vloggers. Nothing feels weirder and more super awkward on social media than being live, though. I love that challenge! But you can go live on YouTube also. And Facebook. I have ONLY tried it on Facebook live. I dunno...

It was before I got a life.



I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again; Don`t get too high hopes! I didn`t have high hopes back then. I just existed and this is the only way I know how to exist. Eventually I found back to the real me, where hopes are high and miracles do happen.😇
 
They happen when we go LIVE! Be yourself and go live! Show the world the artwork that you truly are without all the editing. The editing is so...last year. And the year before that. Be an example! Be the person YOU would like to MEET! Not saying this just because it is a quote somewhere. "Mali saw a quote, watched a spiritual leader and now she is a knows-it-all!" But nothing matters and you can never fully understand what the quotes mean until you bough the t-shirt and wore it while you sat in hell, in a pit of fire, but actually laughed, because that`s what we do when we`re good at hiding something. That "something" is your personality. I`m glad I found mine. So, laugh all you want at my videos and whatever I am doing. I am more than well aware that this is why I am here. 

So, BUY my BOOK "Mali`s Christmas Secrets". Available on Amaz...I mean available somewhere under a healthy tree in the AMAZON-AS! You go and DIG! Oh no, you didn`t find a healthy tree in the Amazonas, you said. You think I write books now? Got videos to make. Got people to inspire. I see my neighbor needs inspiration. You gotta start somewhere! Her dog looks more like her than she looks like her. 

Mukbang Live on Facebook (Veggie version!)


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! 👍 



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14 December 2023

Published December 14, 2023 by 1 comment

Everything will be OKAY✌

Just let go of the fear of things not turning out the way you want it to! Because everything will be OKAY.



I don`t have a glory on the top of my head for no reason. And the same with you! You are WORTHY of a perfect life. "Dream up a WONDERFUL life!" Jim Carrey said this in an university speech, one of his best speeches. 

I am not going to go new age on you. I hate the new age stuff. I just use Tarot cards and they LIE to me every other day. People have gotten married, become pregnant, had an affair with the neighbor, traveled overseas and to Narnia according to my cards...but anyways...

Stop! You shouldn`t listen to my advice, just saying...but here goes nothing! But I actually have experienced that this one works. 

Invite the depression into your life. Say "Hi, how are you? Why are you here? What do you want from me?" I am sure it answers back to you "You`re a loser that I have decided to bother for the past 20+ years" Well, thank you for that! I am greatful you were here, but today I am letting you go.

Let it go and say to yourself; "I am a star in my own right. I am not the janitor of this school."
(No offence to janitors.)

Jim`s father was a janitor. He was actually a great comedian but never trusted his own ability to succeed. He regretted this decision deeply as he watched his own son, Jim, throw himself down the stairs at their family home. "Was that funny or what?" His father answered back: "Now you`re going to do it again in slow motion!" The dream never vanishes. It just appears over and over again through other people, so you better start doing something about it. Because you are going to witness somebody else living that dream instead of you. 

I have started to embrace my negative feelings. And now I almost never have them. I first heard about this through The Secret, another crazy book. That makes you go crazy, trust me. You are going to imagine stuff that have not happened YET! Which will most likely never happen because you actually go crazy way before you manifest. So you are going to gamble with your sanity. 

I have to admit that I do believe in that book to a certain degree. Even though it is a struggle to actually try to chase these dreams. Especially if your main goal is to walk the red carpet at the Oscar`s. Okay Mali, STOP IT! 😂

Whenever I was insecure I just moved forward. I kept going. I looked back a lot...until I was fed up by looking back. (I ALWAYS LOOKED BACK!) I believe a lot of people do. But I said to myself  "To h*ll with the past! To h*ll with the circumstances and situations that are not serving my own good". I didn`t actually let go of anything back then. I ran away from something instead. I don`t believe in running away. But you`ll see a person with pink sneakers running away. Perhaps you`ll see lepard leggings. Have you ever seen a ponytale on the side? Like from the 80`s? I`ve always revisited this moment of my past. And I`ve used it over and over again in my video "art form". Like an escape? 

Because people tend to to things they don`t believe in. Just because they "have to".
Because that is all they think they have. When in reality they have a lot more to offer.

Hiding from the world. Not being myself. Not really. Not yet. Waiting. Waiting in vain.

But I eventually realized that waiting in vain was unbearable. I wasn`t capable of waiting anymore;
I had to run back home and watch the last season of Stranger Things. Even though I had binge watched the first four seasons on a weekend. I said to myself "Everything will be okay! I have a high speed internet connection now. Finally." #irony (I just watched the movie Leave The World Behind.)

I am not joking when I say that the best phrase that I have used in my own situation is "Everything will be okay!" It IS the truth. Because everything you have experienced has lined up to this point in your life. So, without the experiences you would not have become as strong as you are now. It has all led up to this moment. And like my idol Jim Carey once said: "Every moment is pregnant with the next".


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! 👍 your photo name
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03 December 2023

Published December 03, 2023 by 1 comment

More OLD Christmas content🎅






Because I don`t have anything NEW (Since I haven`t been desperate enough the recent years!) here`s a playlist of all of my OLD and super-crazy Christmas content. I hope you like it!😂

  

And Christmas songs with real SOUL, not the AI shit everybody else does nowadays!










Thanks for reading my blog articles and watching my weird videos. Subscribe to my YouTube channel The Mali Show and I am on Instagram as @malisuniverse. Facebook page is also @malisuniverse 





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02 December 2023

Published December 02, 2023 by

My old Christmas special in Norwegian...


Here I am at a French cafe. Photos taken from a video in the end of this blog post.
And here is my old christmas special in Norwegian..."Du sej nå my rart å du ja Mali". Sykt så det holder. "Det er DIN feil at du sitt å sjer på !" Men det er faktisk sant, så du trenger ikke å se på dette sjuke "opplegget". Jeg vet ikke hva jeg skal kalle det engang...bare noe sjukt noe 😂
   
 Here is the full episode list. 🠉 Because you are desperate enough to watch this!😂

This was old stuff from a few years ago. 5 years ago! I really didn`t care at all back then. I still don`t but...I do things a little differently now...I kind of don`t, but 😉...things have changed a little bit since then.



Here is my recent YouTube video. I haven`t really changed a lot, though (More singing and being silly!) I guess once crazy, always crazy and there`s nothing you can do about it. It is going to be my "vlog theme song":



Thanks for reading my blog articles and watching my weird videos. Subscribe to my YouTube channel The Mali Show and I am on Instagram as @malisuniverse. Facebook page is also @malisuniverse 



 The show that you can't tell your friends about
 because then you don't have friends anymore.


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