Welcome to Mali - My Universe!... A blogger/vlogger from Norway.
I will change the photos. These are test photos!
There are no rules! I´m not following the mainstream!
I love colors! It`s almost psychedelic at times!
More to come!

Sunday, August 15, 2021

August 15, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

Mine "Worst of..."


"Worst Of..." - samlingen min hadde knust enhver "Best Of" fra hvilken som helst artist. Just saying! 😂

Vi snakker classics her. Unikhet som overgår fantasien, med en musikalitet som løfter isfjellet opp fra sjøen og hever Titanic opp fra bunnen. 

Her er den værste låta jeg har noensinne laget. Men den er faktisk ganske kul likevel. (Min personlige mening, altså. Jeg liker egentlig ikke perfekte ting. Det må gjerne høres - og se tragisk ut.) Det er når du lager skit-musikk på trøndersk at det blir bra. Så dårlig at det blir bra...

Det bli rætt å slætt skitbra!  😉



 Vi blogges snart igjen! (på engelsk)


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Saturday, August 14, 2021

August 14, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

Conspiracy theories...


Conspiracy theories. I don`t believe in it. I used to be interested in some of the theories in the past, but not anymore. It`s just too weird, and if you cannot prove it to me, then it`s impossible for me to care about it. I don`t have time for it. End of story! Hitler proabably went to South America, but that is actually possible (They never found his body!) But that`s not really a conspiracy either, though. It can actually be the truth. 


Here is the Conspiracy Chart (LOL! 👍😁) The ABSOLUTE worst has to be flat-earthers! OMG, omg, OMGOSH! 😂 (Made a song about them once! Will I link it in the end of this blog post? Possibly.)

*Reading something REALLY WEIRD!* WHAT? Some people think that Finland doesn`t exist? Huuh? Let me read more about that one. Okay..."Norway" doesn`t exist either, then (Where I come from).  

Photo from The Irish Times (Great article, by the way.)

And now a video inspired by flat-earthers (Weird, weird, and yes I am a weirdo too, do I care? No. At LEAST I do NOT believe in it. *Please clap on my shoulder!* It is a huge step forward for me, LOL! 😂) But the video is still kinda weird, though. But I was right about one thing; the world became pretty DESPERATE! So, I have to admit; my sixth sense is pretty strong...


Another video that I made while my sixth sense was working itself on overload.
I just KNEW things were going to happen.



I do not feel that it`s a conspiracy theory to say that you "Feel things were going to happen". This is actually something that we all have to some degree. Intuition. I sometimes have to create stuff that align with what I feel in that exact moment. I call it to take inspired action. And that is a good thing.


Let`s take inspired action TODAY! 



It`s crazy but "Finland doesnt exist": 





I also posted something on my other blog today: Be who you are!

Explanation: Yes, I have two blogs. Why? I was trying to create a real website with this blog,
instead of a blog, but I realized that websites are boring. And went back to having two blogs
instead. And it may sound confusing to you, but it`s not confusing to me at all. 😬 
Well, it was at one point, but hey...I will not change this for now. I have one blog for 
YouTube channel 1 and one blog for YouTube channel 2. Once again; NOT confusing to me...
but probably confusing to you. But have a wonderful day wherever you are! 😉






Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Sunday, August 8, 2021

August 08, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

I am not a fan of boring things



That`s right! I don`t watch TV because it`s...

BORING.

I don`t learn to drive a car (Anymore! Not ever again!) because it`s....

BORING. 

And scary as hell. I thought I was going to freaking DIE when I hit the road in 2009, because "We all need a driver`s licence, if not, you`re a total loser!" 

I decided not to drive. So, I put that dream on the shelf forever. And just became green, collaborated with other green people -  and either walked or found an old bike (that I would paint yellow!) and just bike like a crazy manic, wearing a yellow "Fjallreven" backpack and be freaking hip and cool. And join the green party. 

- Until I realized that joining the green party was....

BORING. 

But not really. I was at the time BORED! I denied to hang with people at the green party, not even for a dinner (or a cup of green tea) just to talk about...KINDA BORING TOPICS...which to my SURPRISE were green party topics -  ONLY. 

To my "surprise" that is. I have no real memories of ever being a member of the green party.

All I have is the t-shirt.

And I wore the t-shirt.
But I should rather create a t-shirt with "I am not a fan of boring things" on it.

It was not enjoyable to just pretend to know what they were talking about, while my thought were actually only on my next sushi meal. 

Because sushi is never boring.


Conclusion: I am not a fan of boring things.
I`m sorry that I didn`t come to the meetings. I had my doubts.

The question of the day: So, what do you do when things get too boring, Mali?
You simply just change your so-called reality 😉 Life is just as real as you make it. You are your own boss.




This was not really a political blog post, but I will label it as "Politics" anyway. Just my own personal experiences with politics. And this will not be my last post on this topic. More to come in the future. 


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2021

July 28, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

Super-weird song (The telephone song)...






 Update: Re-edited one week later with a homemade video to this song. Enjoy the weirdness! 😳👍😆(Yes, I LOVE the 1980`s! I was born in the 80`s, so maybe that`s why)...



This video was posted on The Mali Show on YouTube. It`s a channel where I originally wanted to post ONLY Norwegian videos, but ended up posting in mostly English.  Because I decided that my content has to be shared with the whole freaking world. You`re welcome over there too! 😉

Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Sunday, July 18, 2021

July 18, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

The dots will connect one day...


Don`t give up, the dots will connect one day. This guy even got fired by the company he started, so there`s always hope for all of us. I love this guy. R.I.P. 

                                  

Your time is limited. Don`t waste it living someone elses`s life.  - Steve Jobs

So, what am I trying to say here? 

Be a college drop out TODAY! Steve Jobs didn`t regret later on. 

(That was a joke.)

He didn`t bother getting a job, but Steve jobs, though. Still. Get it? Jobs? Even after his passing. I have never worked a machine harder than the way I have worked my now elderly iMac. It breaks my heart to see that my iMac gets a little slower with the years. A tiny bit slower. Because Mac doesn`t really break - unless you throw it on the floor or jump on it. 

Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Thursday, July 8, 2021

July 08, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

They don`t own me!


Welcome back to my blog after a LONG break from blogging. I almost forgot that I have a blog. Which some people may say is a good thing. "Great Mali! Now you can be like all the other people. Like the rest of us." .....was thinking about it for like five seconds....NAAAAH!

Let me rather explain what is going on inside of my mind right now. 

"Society don`t OWN me!"

- Just a thought that I had five minutes ago. And "Why don`t I write about this on my blog?"

TV don`t own me. Newspapers don`t own me. Breaking news on the world wide web don`t own me. Although I obey orders to some degree. I am not crazy, though. Although I believe the world has gone crazy. I just can`t write about these things here, but I may write a song about it. You can hide so many details in one song. You can be crazy and still pass as normal when you write music. 

(But NOT with songs like this one, Mali! 😵:)

I channeled Notorious BIG and Marilyn Monroe while making this song (all alone in front of the computer, recording and editing at night, probably in my underwear (with some teddybears on or whatever. LOTS OF COFFEE! I feel that my neighbors secretly just wanted me to shut up.) 

I feel like I am being forced (which does not work on me!) to fit into the tiny box that someone else created. Which is the truth. If we don`t fit into it, we are outsiders. 

I don`t want to be inside the tiny box anymore! The box was created by someone ELSE! And I hate EVERYBODY! Okay, that was a joke. But Steve Jobs said it so well...

Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.

Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again. 

My "angry at EVERYTHING" - photo that I set as default photo whenever an angry situation occurs.

Conclusion: I want to break free from...EVERYTHING mandatory...and build my OWN THINGS! 


So, who are "They"? Who decide what should be the final public "Story" for us to belive in? Well, they certainly aren`t me. (Wow! The epiphany when you realize you`re not even the boss of your own life! I had this epiphany a few years ago. Hard nut to swallow when you are as stubborn as I am. "Hey! Your creation is f*ing up my creation! Can you please get out of the way? Just to realize that I AM the one that should just get out of my OWN way. Let things just flow naturally. Stop focusing on everything else and rather focus on ME. You do you - I do me!) I didn`t create all these rules that we have to live by. Political correctness and whatnot. So that is why I kind of broke free. (There`s still a lot to do for me, but I am on a personal journey to freedom. By letting go and just let awareness take over.) It all starts with changing how you look at the world.  

I can`t even see. I am blended by how BRIGHT my future looks! That is how you should look at your own life / situation. You may be stuck right now. But the awareness that decided that you should move your head like a second ago (or press that share this article button with all your social media friends like RIGHT NOW! 😛) This awareness has a great plan for you. It is trying to unstuck your psychical body from the invisible chains that YOU created, while you are sitting in that "I am so angry at the world right now!" - position on the coach and complaining about your life and the headlines on the news. Well, go make your OWN headlines. That is my answer to this problem.   

So, I shamelessly just go about my own business without any regrets. Not even this evening`s flipflop soccer session with the local kids bother me too much. But until next time; Note to self: Never play soccer in your flipflops again. 

Just don`t. (Please get the mental pictures! Because I was to lazy to photograph my swollen toes. So if you could just do that, it would be great. 👍 (In my head I am an everlasting "Ronaldo". The Brazilian version. I have not watched soccer since that era. The mid / late nineties - era. With good reason, I feel.)


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.
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Wednesday, May 12, 2021

May 12, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

What I don`t believe in...


The future never comes. There is always the present. The present is where it`s all happening.

(I am listening to the audio book "The greatest secret" by Rhonda Byrnes.)

And I don`t believe in time. I don`t believe in gender. 

I do not believe in race either.

 
Actually; I believe that life is a dream and that most people are not awake. That is why there`s much pain in the world. 

Life is easy. Whatever happens is okay...

Just don`t give me Raspaballer for Gods sake!...
 (A Norwegian dish that I dislike!)

I dånt beliv in Raspaballa for hælsekke!

Photo: Gamletorvet Spiseri

That is when life becomes too real for me. I can`t even escape the Matrix anymore, then.

I fell off the chair as a child while being spoonfed with Raspaballer BY THE WAY!

I decided to jump out of the chair. When all my problems started. When I think about it, I realise that I started my own universe right there and then. 

I do whatever I want. End of story. 
And on my first day of school I yelled and said that school is nothing for me. (And for 32 years my mother has fought (mostly with herself) to get me to go back to school. But my decision was made; I was too cool for school. (Which was only visible to me. I was invisible to everyone else.) Born in the 80 's. I am old-skool. It reminds me of the Pink Floyd - song with the lyrics; We don't need no education.


Subconciously, I knew that I came here as an example so that I could educate others.

Life is a dream that feels so real that we rarely wake up from it. Just 2% wake up. Awareness is all that we are. And "jadda jadda jadda" you may say right now. I GET IT! I used to be the 98% that didn`t get it. 

But I am STARTING to get it now. In this movie called «life on earth» we`re being spoonfed with so many lies. It is up to YOU to stop this from destroying who you came here to be. It all starts with remembering who you are. «What crap, Mali! WTF are you talking about, you moron?» I get it. I used to be a naysayer too. With the television in front of me, which tells lies to your vision.

''But Mali, don't you believe the bombings in Gaza?'' Yes, I know, I know. But it is the way I have chosen to react to it that makes the difference. We should all just focus on positivity. To create peace we must all BE peace. I choose peace as much as I can, personally. I don't take life too personal by letting anger consume me. If we all did the same less anger / violence would be spread. More peace would be created. We create this planet.  

I don't believe in sitting on the coach eating a sandwich, "BE peace" and just watch what's going on. It is time that you say your opinion. Even if your voice shakes. Use your platform to talk about it. Start a blog. A YouTube channel. But never with negativity and violence. Talk about peace and use YOUR VOICE. We vote for presidents (Which I do not believe is important to be honest. It doesn`t matter who comes into power. Why? Because the same system remains. A system that doesn`t work! 👎) It is time for Israel to call it quits. Whatever is going on doesn`t work either. Israel is powerful so Palestine will NEVER have a chance in this war. Peace will NEVER happen EVER! IF Israel does not stop. We need to speak up. People`s voices have a lot more impact than politics. It's great to see that more and more people all over the world are waking up to the truth.  

So, I was quiet, depressed and somebody else - until the day that I remember how I was spoonfed with Raspaballer. 😂 That changed my life forever. I am now the real me. Not listening to nobody, not stopping at nothing. I forgive my grandmother for trying out the Norwegian dish on the three year old little me. Little did she know about my future weirdness. She was the best grandmother I ever had, except for my other grandmother that was also the best grandmother I have ever had. 





Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Sunday, April 25, 2021

April 25, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

I age backwards and travel with the speed of light


I came here to be the best...me. (NEVER compete with others!)

Become who you know you came here to be!

I was lost.

But in my mid-thirties I realized my true nature.

So I decided to be myself...

"Ahhh! Finally in front of a REAL camera! Where I truly belong!"

Others say that the train has left the station many years ago. And that it is too late when you`re in your thirthies. What station are you talking about? Train? Bus? Can`t relate. I travel with the speed of light. Actually; I think I age backwards. I think I was programmed with a time machine inside of my mind.

By the way; I have this song on rewind inside of my freaking brain right now. I used to "hate" Justin Bieber just because that was the most accepted thing to do many years ago. But this is catchy, though...
   

Here I was many years ago; "Being a fan" of Justin, when in reality it was really unpopular to be a fan of Justin back in the day. In my late thirties I finally can say that..."Justin.... Justin`s producers make decent music (for him! In the studio with lots of autotune") I am kidding. Justin IS talented, actually. It is the truth. Justin was discovered on YouTube. If he can do it - you can do it!
 

And I got kinda excited by the energy in the music video (Justin Bieber - song!) and opened up Photoshop. I love photoshop! 💓 Creators make me want to create. Creative people is the future.
 (I am wearing a pink wig.)

They say that "life is hard". I am not giving up on this journey called life. 
You gotta make the decision to not give up. You just get on the frequency of what you want. You do not need to know HOW you get there. You just start creating. You can turn your life around and age backwards. Just by the fact that you look better doing what you came here to do. Doing what you love to do. Just figure out what you love to do and do it for the rest of your life.

#thelawofattraction #thesecret #justinbieber



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Wednesday, March 31, 2021

March 31, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

In a dramatic relationship!


YES! I am in a very dramatic realtionship...

I have not talked about this before. I feel ashamed. It is difficult to admit.


No, it is NOT HOT! It is sad to be honest.

This is a situation that can only work IF it is HOT!



Photo: Amazon



Because if it is NOT hot it tastes like...

Crap!...

And it can also be very dramatic IF I do not get my daily dose.

But it is time to break up. 

We do not have anything in common anymore. 

Even though they say we can get Alzheimer IF we break up all of a sudden (?)
They say you`re healthy. But...
I cannot continue being with you.

I am so sorry.


Photo: https://glenmartintaylor.com/the-dilemma-of-being-human/


Yes, I am in a reationship...

You are taking advantage of me! I am weak.

And the more I type on my computer...the weaker I become...


I am so sorry, for writing this that was supposed to be a break up letter. I have never done this before. 

Because they usually just leave...



But with you it is different...

I am sorry. Let`s try and work out our differences...




Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Sunday, March 28, 2021

March 28, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

Random facts about me part 2...


Today is one of the days when I just have NOTHING to write about again. But you just HAVE to write something! If you`re a blogger, you can relate! 😂 

I love trips to the forest...

I like to go far away into the nature, hug a tree (climb a tree?), start a new "religion" there. "Okay, Mali, NOW you`re going too far!" Actually NO! I am not going to far ...

All you need is a bag (The nature loves it when you bring a hot pink bag!) And a lipgloss!


Nothing`s too far fetched for Mali - My Universe. I was planning to start a new religion a few years ago. (In Norwegian for my Norwegian super-fans! Everybody LOVES me because I was on Idol. (#irony ?) I am not ready to talk about that now. I have a great day today! So, let`s move on. But Here is an article where I wrote about it (also in Norwegian for my dedicated Norwegian fans...which are; so many OMG! The people that knew me once, work colleages, (haven`t worked a day in my life) like OMG, friends...of my mother, the lady that came over for coffee once. OMG! The lady at the grocery store OBVIOUSLY is a FAN! Jeses!)...



I LOVE TEA! And everything stops for tea! Sweet Chili Tea from Yogi Tea`s is a good choice on cold winter nights...


Yes, I designed my own beanie. Because I am my own fan!


I have started many video-projects/series. Here is one of them...


In norwegian again. I stopped making content in Norwegian a few years ago. I feel too international basically. Not trying to be better than my Norwegian colleages (bloggers /content creators) But I don`t live in Norway, so it also feels natural of that reason. Where I am in the world I will not reveal just yet (or ever!) I feel like it is a private choice where you choose to live. But in time I will share more about my personal life whenever it feels more natural to do so. 

Here is a video from this project. (Which I collaborated with Videomagi on)...

I remember that this was a very good summer 🌞 and that we wanted to ask peope to be characters in this series (Wow, we had some cool people in mind!)...


#idolmali #malisuniverse #themalishow #video #youtube #Norwegian



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Wednesday, March 24, 2021

March 24, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

You have no other choice


Decided to be myself 100% and come full circle with my own life purpuse. People laugh at me all the time but I am always the last one laughing. I have many pictures of myself laughing. Just making them was therapy to me.


Things that have helped me...


Decided to write.


Decided to sing. The laughter came so naturally. Decided to blog. Every day I am realizing more and more that the future is not on hold. Decided to be myself because I have no other choice. By doing something that my future self will be proud of. By starting RIGHT NOW!

Which is writing a bestseller book...
Okay, I am just kidding. I am not writing a book any time soon. I am more interested in instantly uploading my content on the world wide web than writing a book for hours. My brain is too visual. I have too see my "art" being manifested via photos or videos. Fast! ASAP! WHERE`S the UPLOAD BUTTON?


Here I was manifesting my life goals. I wrote it down, and now it`s here. I am so proud of myself. And I would like to call myself a manifesting beast! You can do it too. I have a category on my blog called You can do it! . I am serving you some help / love over there, so check it out! To free yourself (mostly from mental slavery! LOL 😂) I believe mental slavery is a very valid and current problem in the world. Bob Marley was NOT crazy for writing all of his hit songs. (Many of them are revolutionary!) Revolutionary /visionary kind of people are the people that I look up to. 

The movie "The Secret" made me want to try manifesting a few years ago. There`s a pressure in society to be successfull doing what everybody else is doing. I just never got it. I`ve never understood the social codes. And I am NOT SUPPOSED TO! If you don`t like what you see - just leave! I am in the process of leaving but it is a constant challenge. I was never an insider anyway. I was in my own world. In my own box. There`s a box, and there`s a box outside of the box...but...I am outside of that other box...over there...I am comfortable here. 

You have to be aligned. With your life purpose. Which to me is helping others (with two or four legs!)

I just found a comfy place for my 3 kittens to sleep at night even though the rest of my family doesn`t appreciate cat-life. The heroic cat-rescuing operation by me was not even welcomed with a friendly tap on my shoulder. NO! "Get them out of the house! They pee everywhere!" were the answers that I got in return.

I could create a cat home any day...




When people told me to "Throw away the bastards!", I didn`t listen. I rescued a younger kitten from the garbage and the cat mother adopted it as her own. Beautiful to see how the universe works.

You can try to copy others, it is your choice. But your soul will always try to refuse this self-destructive behavior. In the end; being yourself is the only choice you are left with IF you want some peace of mind. 


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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Sunday, March 14, 2021

March 14, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

I write what I want and it happens!

Here I was desperately writing down my future life goals with a cheap BIC pen in 2016. It has all started to manifest. 😮

My scripting technique always works. I write down what I want to happen and it happens. Not directly at first, but after a while. I see that more and more on my list of what I want to happen comes into reality. In the beginning you don`t believe in this "shit". "It can never happen, The Law Of Attraction is just fake!" You just write down things you want and just forget about it like you don`t even believe it can happen. But then after a while (to me personally; after a few years had gone by), I found the letter that I had written to "the universe" and almost everything has started to manifest. I wrote "Dear Universe...I now have blah blah blah...Thank you so much for giving this to me. Because I deserve it. Ciao!" Something like that. Like you ALREADY HAVE the things that you want. 

You can try this method too. It is very simple. "I already have the car. I don`t have to ride my electric scooter to work anymore" (Even though you love to!) "But now I have a car, though!" Just daydream! The more you get envolved in your own dreams, the faster it happens. Imagine how it feels to drive your dream car! Just FEEEEL IT! Yeah, I know I sound like a super desperate (American) life coach right now! LOL! 😄 But it does work! ✅

Then after a few weeks / months, you will experience a shift in your life.  Don`t worry about WHEN and HOW things will manifest. You will start to see signs everywhere. And you KNOW when you`re close to your manifestation goals. Your life starts to move into the direction of your goals. But only IF you don`t do anything drastically to stop it from happening! Just be in alignment with what you want to experience. BE what you want to attract! You have to take action, though. Do not sit on your butt eating a sandwich! THIS was the hard part for me, I have to admit (The action part!) Because I have been so lazy! 😴 But then I started to show up into my own life. And then things started to change. It IS really that simple. Not enough people know about this technique and that`s why I decided to write about it.I will write more about this later because it is one of my favorite topics to write about.

Why? Because IT WORKS! I was (and am still from time to time) a lazy person, sitting on my butt drinking coffee all day and it happened to ME! WOW! I decided to quit this crazy lifestyle because I knew there was something MORE out there. I decided to show up into my own life and say "Mali!??? Who the h*ll are you? Why are you sitting on your butt all day? Don`t you want to LIVE? Do you eat to die or eat to live?". This was one of the examples I could bring up right now. I ate noodles all day because I was lazy. And depressed. I had my reasons. But the reasons don`t really matter. I knew I was capable of something more. "Do you want to hide in your tiny apartment? Hide yourself from the world?". "NO! I actually want to create my own universe!", was the answer that came to me while I was sitting there. All alone with my hand in a bag of potato chips (I had just finished my Ramen noodles at that point (Binge-eating!). Had failed at making 100 YouTube videos that only my mother and a few local neighbors had watched. "Only YOU think you`re funny, Mali!" People were looking me up on the internet because they were searching for proof that I am indeed weird. Well, you don`t really have to search too long to know this, though, because I am proud to say that I am the female version of Jim Carrey. So, obviously I wrote down one of my goals further down on my list; to meet Jim through my future circle of colleages/friends. Actually; I don`t care how it happens! And that is actually the best position to put youself in; not knowing anything about how, when, or why things will happen. If you can dream it - you can achieve it. They say you should NEVER reveal one of your goals to people. But what the heck! I am an extreme-dreamer / thinker so I just used this as an example for you to understand that a goal is NEVER to big. Even if this was just a test (meeting Jim!) to see IF the universe listens (It always does!) To see WHERE I will end up, how far I have come along with my future plans, more about the journey than the actual outcome.



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.
 

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Saturday, March 13, 2021

March 13, 2021 💬 Leave a comment...

All we need is a solid "ha ha ha!"



All we need is a solid "Ha ha ha!"


Stories written while I was being offine. Which is TO ME a lot more serious than any so-called virus threatening the planet (sad to say but it`s the truth, probably says a lot about today`s humanity. But I guess I`m an alien anyway.)
 
I started to write because I talk a lot and nobody wants to hear me "Bla-bla-bla" for hours. The "ha-ha -ha " part comes in when I Iaugh to my own jokes. Because nobody else laughs. My contribution to this world and one of my best /worst abilites is to act really childish. But this is also why I don`t look a day over 15. (In my own head. And that is the only place where it matters!) Even though I am in my late thirties. At least that is how I feel. So, how do you feel young even though you`re old? It is easy. You stop caring about what others think of you. "But then they think I`m crazy!" YES! And why is that a problem? What others think of you is not any of THEIR business. You live this life once so you better make the best out of it. And if being a crazy maniac is who you are, then that is who you are. Nobody can stop you from being who you are.
 

Hit your head in the wall!


I was stuck and I felt trapped. I felt like I had no life. I was so bored. But then a family member told me; "Okay, If you`re so bored, why don`t you go and hit your head in the wall!" Funny! And so I did. And just by doing that, I felt so much better. I laughed so hard. It really made my day. I was thinking about what that crazy family member had said and it really makes sense. If you`re really that bored, you might as well just hit your head into the wall.
 

People that need healing


During the past months I have met people that need healing. Stress and depression are the most popular issues. If you can put it that way. (I don`t care how you put it. This is MY WORLD. This is Mali - My Universe.) They all just needed a real "Ha-ha-ha!".  A really long and good laugh. I did a healing session on a super stressed-out family member (since I am a self proclaimed healer (I have taken healing-lessons) and she laughed and said "What the hell are you doing, Maria?" (She can never get my name right no matter how long I have known her) as I held a crystal over her head. "This is your problem area number one", I told her. "This is where all of your problems are!". "Ha-ha-ha!" She laughed and laughed. Later she came to me and told me that I had helped her. I had really made her day. "See you tomorrow, Maria, but brush your hair and I will come back to you!" I don`t take it personally because I know I don`t brush my hair very often. Sometimes only four times a week. But in her language, which is Arabic, this is actually an expression that rhymes. Very cool but sad that the rest of the world does not have cool expressions like that one. I have learned so much from an old civilization with a rich culture. And even though I see myself as a 15 year old youtuber-blogger, turning 39 next year, my family member sees me as a free woman. Free in the kitchen, free in the way I do things. Free to her means strong, talented, knows what she is doing. In the kitchen I throw the noodle spices in the noodle soup like it has been my job since 1995. (Noodle kitchen in Thailand!) If I made a documentary about her and the way she describes me, and the way she describes random topics in general, the world would laugh. Instead the world cries. The world needs healing right now. The world needs a solid "Ha-ha-ha!". Mother earth is sad. Her birthing pains has never been louder than right now. But I do feel that mother earth is giving birth to a new world. I am waiting patiently and I am being hopeful and greatful. Greatful for what I have. I know there is more to come. I know it is out there. I just do not have hold of it just yet. 

120 chickens


My family member which I choose to call "Mr. K" has had some really cool but weird ideas in the past. Business ideas. But it didn`t really work out. I asked him. "What kind of business did you start?"He answered with a huge smile on his face "I collected 120 chickens on the tiny balcony outside of the bedroom window!". And showed me the tiny balcony. I laughed "Ha-Ha-ha!" and so did he. In spite of all the noise from all the hungry chickens, his wife didn`t complain at all. She probably thought it was a good business idea also. But like I said; It didn`t work out. How can it work out when all of the chickens started to become sick? One by one they started to turn their necks 90 degrees, and "Mr. K" had to admit that something is just not right with the chickens. In the end only five of them were still alive and he had to realize that he had failed. He went on with his life and his job painting the neighbor`s wall again, as the famous local handyman that he is - until a new business idea would take over.

Maria Merzedes


My name, Mali, is a country in Africa and nobody in Africa likes the name. "Why don`t we call you Cameroon instead?" Ok, that was a joke, but since these stories take place in North-Africa, I got a new name. A few names actually. Mabrouka is one of the names. A very old Arabic name. And another name is Maria. Which slowly, over time became "Maria Merzedes". Names are a huge thing here so every person has at least five nick names. 

Offline 


Every month day 10 I am offline. Because I have the cheapest wifi connection ever. Why? because I am in Africa. (North-Africa.) Why I`m in Africa could be a book of it`s own. And I am not going to reveal why I am here. I am here like you are any other place in the world reading this. Stuck with a virus that is messing up you life - which planet earth still has to deal with in...2021?? Can`t belive it`s still a problem.  But that`s another topic which I WILL come back to in the future.) Why are you reading this by the way? Are you really THAT desperate? Okay, that was a joke. Obviously you are reading this because you are a huge fan and have stalked me for years. Or you just found me recenty and you`re thinking; "Omg! What a weird person!" Yes, and I am proud to say that it does happen a lot!) This weird person is offline now, and it`s a struggle. I am feeling forced to write so that I can continue to be weird for you guys. Should I write an e-book? I know that I am not ready to write a real book yet. (Or ever!) I have to publish. I have to hit the publishing-button at least twice a week. I am addicted. 

I will be back to explain more. I have to charge this wreck of a Windows computer. I really miss those Apple-days. But it`s funny how some people evolve backwards.

At least I`ve got 10 million dollars in my bank account! 😎


            




Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously.

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