If you feel a little down, this is the message for you; Everything will be alright. I really like these positive songs by Joakim Karud. "Mr vlog-music"...



"Im going to use ut for yt", a person writes. "So much joy in a track" another writes. I can`t agree more. Important to always keep a high energy or "flying high" on a high flying disk. I`ve watched many videos on the topic ("Always be on a high flying disk!" - Abraham Hicks) during my "self-help-books"- days. If you haven`t hung out at the self-help-book section of the library yet (youtube-library counts!) you basically need to get a life, like they say. You are missing out with other words. Missing out on a rollercoaster journey like no other. That`s my personal opinion. You have to live to understand. Understand other people`s issues. And your own.

I know you`re out there. Sitting on a chair with your computer (I hope MAC! But that`s another topic that we are not getting into today!) I know you`re thinking; I`m fat, I`m lazy, I see the Instagram models, thin with a small waste and a big butt. "Why am I sitting here looking like this fat pig?" Listen! Don`t try to aim for a life that is PHOTOSHOPPED!!!! As much as I love photoshop for the right reasons, I can do a lot of sh*t with one photo too...

Sipping to my drink by the beach...

In reality NOTHING happened as usual...



"Ah...just one of those days...I got my period and...the garbage smells like h*ll...I`m tired...so thankful that I am able to have this break right now".

"Let go and trust the process!", a psychic told me. One of the best readings I`ve had done on me. Just show the world your " POW BANG!!!" - energy that you were born with! Okay...huh? Really? And I remember I sat in the psycologist-chair ( I can never spell that word so don`t even make me try!)  This was many years ago, and said "I am afraid to be myself!" "Why?" the psychologist asked. Me: "I think I will blow up and I can`t handle it!" Omg! (Who says this at the psychologist, anyway...? I guess me.) No wonder why things go left...Not if you use your right brain, it won`t...lol...that`s where all the fun is!)

Just be yourself! Don`t care what people think (as long as you`re not hurting anyone else!) If you feel stuck, trust the universe! This shall also pass. Like so many times before. You`ll get through this also. Just pretend that you are karate kid...



Don`t you hate it when people talk about a good topic and you get so interested ("Oh my God, she`s talking to ME! I got trust issues. I got..." jadda jadda jadda...) but all of a sudden they want to sell you things? And you didn`t see it coming. Me too, I hate that! Anoyying as h*ll! 😩

Don`t worry about it. Here is one of my old songs, by the way. (Like I`m not trying to "sell you this idea" so that you can share this video with all of your friends (But you don`t have friends, though...I`m so sorry...bad humor...The irony is strong today!) Here is "I trust the universe  - The remix". A remix of another song that I made once. I share this one because I have shared the original one like twice already, lol. Am I proud? NO! Well...hell yeah I am...because you should always be proud. Proud of things that you create, even though you know you can do "better". To me there is no real answer to what is "better" than other things I`ve created. This is fun in it`s own way (to me! And very homemade, obviously, that is my style.) But the real reason why I share this is because I haven`t created anything new - YET! Kind of sad because I am so creative that sometimes I go crazy. (My mind explodes, lol!)


Always trust the universe! I used to have no shame (I still don`t!) But I never earned a coin on this sh*t! Annoying as h*ll to me. So maybe I didn`t really try enough. I never TRIED! So, my advice is to try a little harder, wake up earlier to work on your goals. Stop buying random stuff all the time. Save the money and buy something to CREATE with. Something to realize your dream with. I bought purses. It never took me anywhere in life. I DIDN`T even wear them in outrageous photoshoots, I could at least have done THAT! (Maybe I will do that, though! It sounds like a cool idea for a video. I just have to get to my purses. If you can barely open the door because of the purses inside of the room (Tiny room, but still!) then maybe you realize that you once had a problem. Addicted to buying stuff is a very normal thing, though (called hoarding.) So it is not really unusual, and to be a minimalist is even WEIRDER. Many people think that minimalists are crazy. I became minimalist (-ish) after looking at the purses inside of the room. After many years...just looking...never wearing them,...just "Aha!, there it is!" Never used a single purse, but I WILL. On the next 17 of May, at the national day of Norway. It was a really boring 17th of May this year. BAD TV! Why? Because I wasn`t in Norway, but maybe next year I am. I am the one walking down the street like New York Fashion Week, behind the Tv2 cameras with my collection of luxurious purses. Kind of heavy, but my mother threw them on a wheelbarrow, no problem. "Mali Bergliot! Mali Bergliot! WAIT!" My real name. I am Mali Superstar, but parents don`t understand stuff like that. While I put on the last from Paris, Milan and Rome, she`s walking behind me in a traditional Bunad from South-Trøndelag in Norway. Crazy place! But they produce the best singers, though! Will be selling my purses on the corner closest to the Norwegian castle. (Like WERK! Gotta get my coin!) I will also sing "Hero" by Mariah Carey. Obviously; it`s going to be televized.

Because I TRUST the universe. I trust the process...I trust that I`ve lost a few pounds too.

I trust that my last Tiramisu was eaten ...5 minutes ago....I am letting go and I am trusting the UNIVERSE! (going to the kitchen to get the last pack of the 4-packs. Hello, it`s not my fault they sell 4-packs where I live! You want ONE but they sell 4? Really NOT my problem!!!!!!) The #irony is strong today!


Thanks for reading, thanks for being a witness of all the stories going on inside of my crazy mind, simultaneously.

Ever since I was really young I have had my inner world, that soon exploded to the outer world, and became it`s own universe. Get it if you can! I know some of you can relate...


I have been told that I have a greater than great imagination. And it hasn`t always given me the best results in life. Not YET, that is. Because I have also been told that I am not a quitter.


Mukbang by myself, for the world to see. (Mali`s Eating Show! You sometimes go through different styles and characters to end up with your favorite character.) And a party by myself, one of many performances in front of an empty audience. Probably just 10 people were watching. Some know me, some say "I knew her!" Some say "I would LOVE to meet this person!" and "I never want to meet this person, EVER!". "This is embarrassing." But I want you to know something; Jim Carrey threw himself down his family`s stairs at his home in Canada. His family loved it. Instead of saying "Don`t do that ever again, son!", his very supportive (over-supportive) father told him "Now, go back and do the same but in slow- motion!" I wish that I had the same support as a child growing up. But no, things were supposed to be hidden. My family obviously had (has to this very day!) comedians, but "NO!" "We cannot tell anyone who we really ARE!"...



I used to hide too, until the "great depression" hit me in the early 2000`s. Then I slowly changed my ways for the better. Some may say for the worse, but you should have known me back then, I was worse, so much worse. Didn`t care about school...had no self confidence because I surpressed who I am. (And I had unresolved anger issues (obviously, that`s what happens when you deny yourself access to...YOURSELF!(Hello!?) So I quit school, that`s what I did.`Cause I got a fast car, fast enough so we can fly away. Okay, I am just kidding. A Tracy Chapman song just entered my mind. That "car" was my mind.) But thankfully that was not going to last for too long. I never went back to being fake ever again. Fake, which means being controlled by what society thinks of you. Society is a word that I simply don`t get. At least not the same way as I hear people talk about it around me, because it sounds different in my ears. I have always been the outsider - not even bothering to look in, through the windows of this world, this universe, this planet, which I have to call home, even though it sometimes feels like I`m on the wrong planet. (Trying to not sound like a crazy-person even though that`s probably too late already.) But I believe and feel that we are not born to fit in, we are here as individuals and are job here on panet earth is to stand out. So I am just naturally just doing my part of this job.

Thanks for reading and we`ll "meet" again soon.

First of all!; I have to actually vlog to be able to give you advice, but I actually did vlog a little bit in the past (VERY rarely though! Not enough to call myself a vlogger. Although I say that I am a vlogger in the blog description.) But I still know a thing or two about this topic. And my NR. 1 tip is to be who you really are. Be yourself. Just like my photo says. No fake copycat behavior. I don`t even know what that means although I have the tendency to steal quotes from other people who I thought was smarter than me. Don`t do that! Make up your own quotes! When you have the guts to be who you really are (even though you`re crazy) then we can go to the next steps...

My next step would be...

Equipment...

Don`t have a "real" camera? Use your phone! You can`t get it more real actually. Sometimes - the crappier it looks - the better it gets. You know, that 90`s VHS style. I would even BUY a new camera that just had the 90`s VHS effects on it. I would go crazy to be honest! I imagine inside of my mind an advertisement for a "new camera" with these weird effects and filters easy to use for ANYONE. And a loooong line outside a weird camera - shop. In my mind crowds of people are fighting over this particular camera. I get to the shop and there`s only me standing there. That is how I feel about most things in life. I am the only one standing there just LOVING everything weird and only I turn up for these events.

Let`s move on...

Charging your camera(s)! Obviously you need multiple cameras. Like all over your apartment...almost like surveillance. (Just kidding!) Then you shoud be thinking about a storyline, but in my unique case (like I`m weird or something); I start with this at the end...and then everything had been a waste of time and energy! (That ADHD - way!) I`m so sorry, I am not the person you need to teach you this. Because only you know. Only you know YOUR recipe on success. JUST BE YOU! That is actually my main advice.

Filters...

I sometimes use this filter on my videos.

Which I did make myself, because I was afraid that I wouldn`t be able to find the Youtube filters in the future, because YouTube evolves really fast nowadays. And intuitive as I am , I was spot on, the filters are GONE from YouTube now. *Crying!* No, I`m not, that was irony. (This is an exact copy, almost, of that " 8mm old film" whatever filter, although an exact copy is impossible to make)...


Transitions... - with weird video clips (funny clips downloaded from youtube (but be careful of copyright claims! I would prefer NOT to do this (OMG, I am such a BAD teacher! Yes, I wouldn`t do it if I was you...but I am not you...Omg, Mali,  just shut up! ) Or you make your own. I made my own...

That infamous french accent "A few hours later" -  transition that so many YouTubers love to use. But can you make one that is more "retarded" than mine? Didn`t think so, honey!


I TRIED to vlog in the past , though...


But I ended up just throwing 100+ effects on the top of each other. But even that can be a vlog. A vlog is anything you want it to be.

Photo: Pinterest. Source? Well, nobody owns anything anyway anymore. (Bad excuse, I know.)

But ONLY FOR 5 MINUTES! Because I`m back at time managment again. Trying to manage this day, which is today. Never park your a** or other bodyparts on a fence or any other place for more than 10 minutes straight. You won`t get up afterwards. I have tested it. SIV has even tested it...even though she laughed and said it was "Fun!". "A lot funnier than lying at a Frp meeting! " (Yes, lying. I do not have to correct that word. I came to the meeting, heard a lot of naysayers complain about the same old "immigration stuff",  so decided to never return. Even the pizza was old. And I kinda came for the pizza...) Siv is a politician in Norway with the strongest handshake I`ve ever experienced in my life. A real feminist-handshake. I have no idea why I was there but I learned something about handshakes. "I am a leader" was the vibe that I got. (I guess that`s what`s she`s there for) But If you can lead yourself, your own life with this energy you can get REALLY far. But please, Siv, stop trying to lead other people! (Okay, I get it, it`s her job.) And listen; I was very open to some of your ideas. I really liked the lipstick-dress-idea. So ugly it became cool again. That anti fashion statement. Was the idea yours? IF I decided to involve myself in your party I could only have become your personal assistant and dress designer (I know a thing or two about this, actually.) But unfortunately for you, you lost the "life" of the party (after ONLY 2 meetings) because absolutely nothing made sense and I ran over to the green party so...where things make a little bit more sense...although politics isn`t really my "cup of tea".

I`ve shared this photo before. Because this was one of the funniest days of my life. This brought JOY to my life, ya`ll...(Trying to be politician Siv Jensen) Advice: Do the things that bring joy! Recreate the feeling over and over again!



So what is my own verdict here (when it comes to this video)? Well, (it`s weird as h*ll! But...) be yourself no matter what! Speak your truth even when your voice shakes! - is my life theme, I guess you can say. And in this video my voice shook, you guys. Because Siv shook like a vibrator from the 70`s while drinking that cup of coffee. (LOL 😆 I`m so sorry, I just had to...)

With this video I pretty much say; Don`t be afraid to be who you are even though people may laugh AT you and not WITH you. BECAUSE dear friends (and frienemies) a lot MORE people are laughing WITH you anyways. Statistics always show this if you should ever make a poll like that...
I will INDEED make a poll like that soon. A poll like that will obviously attract a lot of hardcore haters. The real stalkers and naysayers who secretly are jeaous of your vibe. Rememeber!; Stay true to yourself because your vibe attracts your TRIBE! You will meet the people you are supposed to meet and create new important connections and friendship for the future. And don`t be afraid to live on the edge for a while. Status quo or stagnation is your worst enemy. It is NOT taking your laxy a** anywhere in your life. I have tried it, and I hated it. Because I ate a lot of ramen noodles and my mom started to call me everyday just to tell me "Get off of the fence you`ve just parked your freakin`a** on for the past....like 20 years..!??!" Well, she never used these words, but hey, I ain`t stupid, SOMEBODY was thinking these "so very true words" about me, and hey, somebody was RIGHT! Somebody was spot on! But please; realize this yourself before you get those annoying phonecalls! You probably never got the phonecalls, ok...no problem...because you are not an almost 40 year old person acting like a 14 year old...okay..I get it...but this lesson goes for everything else too, that has to do with laziness. If you`re lazy, you become fat and old. Before your time. And then you can`t complete your mission. We all have a special mission. Only YOU know your mission.

If I can do it - you can do it. I almost never saw a person more lazy than myself my whole entire life...it`s like...don`t know if it`s weekend or just unemployed.

My "friend" Casey knows a few tricks:



Stay safe, and remember IF you take photos today, just try to look a little bit MORE beautiful. Seriously; you haven`t tried enough! Look at me and LEARN!...


Look!; I am not trying to brag but I can do a lot of things. Here I am trying to catch a straw with my mouth.

Back to the topic 

Unknown source. Stole it on Google. (Too pissed off to search for the source.)

Photo: Somebody made it....baddest excuse ever. But somebody was pissed off.

Perfecty organized, just like I am! The irony is STRONG today! Photo: Found it on Pinterest + did a reverse image search and didn`t find the source. Bad excuse? Yes.

YO! I just wanna get my swag on while Justin Bieber is singing his new song...yeah, that was a song that I made a few months ago. Just thought that I would use it as an intro in today`s blog post.

Here is the song (homemade by me, while being BORED! My least favorite word!):

   

If you have successfully (or unsuccessfully...it is up to you!) listened to the song you can read on...sounds like nazi-crazypeople-talk. If that is even a word. I am not commanding you to do anything, though. But that sounded like I am controlling you. Anyways; Let`s move on. Just let me take a good sip of my tea...

I had a thing for dolls...