29 December 2022

Published December 29, 2022 by

Weird vlog this time...


Well, every vlog of mine is weird, but this time it kind of became extra-weird...I CAN make it WEIRDER, trust me! But maybe not...

Photo: themalishow.com. I forgot to save a photo while editing my vlog. I will remember to do it next time. πŸ‘

Video:


Or maybe you just want to...






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15 December 2022

Published December 15, 2022 by 10 comments

What a bad remix of my song!....


NOOOOO!!!! 😱😱😱.......But I kind of like it. 


NOT!

Maybe a little better...




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13 December 2022

Published December 13, 2022 by

How lazy bloggers blog...


"My blog is just a sporadic hobby. I don`t care about the traffic to my blog. I hate traffic. I get stuck in traffic!" 

I blog only to let my neighbor know that I am still thinking about getting that yellow sofa. I have wanted yellow furnitures for a while, actually. Love the color. For like 5 years (TIME FLIES when you`re lazy!) I have googled yellow sofas on IKEA. But Ikea is very far. You need to take a French train to Ikea. Too may poodles on those trains! Have nothing against dogs, but...This was just an excuse. It was a joke. Lazy people are experts at joking. Their jokes are so bad, that they are actually funny. This was not funny. I have to reconsider if this was a joke or not.

I am usually funny. 

I`ve always believed that about myself. It is a lazy excuse so that I can joke around and play all day.
Actually; I kind of feel like a cat. 



In my mind I am climbing trees and the ladder of success like the rest of the go - getters out there. 

Here I am writing about it. To let the world know that I am READY to surrender to this reality. "I already have 1000 readers per day!" 1000 readers could mean 100 Euros in my bank account, like ASAP. That`s what the other bloggers say on Google. That one-click-method. The "Publish" button. I have pressed it 1000 times already and nothing happens. Affiliate links! Sell stuff! Sell other people`s products? Like dropshipping from Ali Baba in China? Sounds like the product would break any time in the mail. Not get on the plane from China. If it got on the plane it would take a month for it to be delivered. Not exactly tastefully delivered. Who the h*ll would want this business and ruin their reputation? 
 
But some peole just ruin their reputation no matter what. 




Lazy bloggers love the copy and paste method. Like they actually wrote it themselves. F.ex...

Being lazy

[Laziness is one of the worst habits you can have. It affects your motivation and your willingness to meet deadlines. As a result, productivity will suffer and you won’t be able to meet clients’ demands. If you are too indolent to put in the work, your business may not live to see another year.]

It sounds like I really know what I`m talking about here. But it  wasn`t me! 

After a few sentences in my notebook, on how great I already see myself, (I almost decided to buy my own t-shirt (merch) to wear in my next post) But to be honest; who cares about my t-shirts? That I haven`t created yet.

 I decided to get my shit together and stop being so lazy.

With an expression that should get the reader`s attention. (The reader got scared. Okay...)

"I am back with a podcast, a hit song, a clothing line. I am spreading myself on the world wide web." 
Yes, you are preading yourself thin! Lazy bloggers just don`t have the energy to focus on the main issue. Social problems! Okay, that was a joke. Actually, that is true. But sometimes you need to be antisocial to actually create your dream life, whatever that is. Other people will just tell you to stop.
They don`t see your vision. But that is a whole different topic. I came here to talk about lazy bloggers like myself. Yes, there I said it.

So...

Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! (You can write comments in the box below. ) Thanks! πŸ‘
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Published December 13, 2022 by

My crazy homemade music


Whenever I get an idea, I just create a song about it. It is almost never normal, whatever normal means. But this is really abnormal! πŸ˜‚ This is crazy! (But I obviously make crazier than this, but I never upload it...But soon I WILL!)

So, IF you`re looking for something weird...


I am never stopping just because things are not perfect or not a "finished product".
Even unfinished drafts / notes are cool to share. It shows people how hard the struggle was. And the struggle was damn hard. Important point...


One weird song that I just uploaded...


And here`s a list of ALL of my homemade songs...
   

 Like, share, and just click click click on the buttons! Don`t care which button, just freaking CLICK like this blog is an arcade game from the 80`s! πŸ‘πŸ˜‰


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12 December 2022

Published December 12, 2022 by 9 comments

Not buying waffles for 8 euros!



Yo! I don`t have a photo from today`s vlog.  So I  had to add an old header to my post. It is a good header, though! You should always remember to create photos, by saving frames in your editing software (whatever you`re using.) I am still on some Microsoft sh*t called Sony Vegas. But this program is actually OKAY! I call it Microsoft sh*t because it`s not FROM APPLE! Even though I can appreciate it. For now. 

Here is today`s vlog...




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11 December 2022

Published December 11, 2022 by 7 comments

I will have the last laugh!


I don`t care what they say...I`ll have the last laugh! YOU laugh at me? I laugh harder...I embarrass myself so that no-on else are able to. I do a pretty good job at doing it myself! πŸ˜‚ And I do NOT worry. Something better is in store for me. No, I do not have any sixth sense. I don`t need that. I am in my purpose. So, if YOU finally wake up and realize that you are in your purpose, well...Happy birthday to you! And welcome to the club! I have been there for a while. And I am NOT stepping down off my high horse. So, always hold your head up or else; you might fall off the horse. Don`t do that! Do what you came here to do and things will fall into place. For us! Not into pieces. 


This photo (or video series of me on YouTube) is so freaking embarrassing that you might throw yourself behind the sofa. You know; that cringy panic attack? Yes, we all get it. Even me. I don`t remember when, but...I think whenever someone is trying to be serious. But is really failing because it is BAD. Like something on The Eurovision Song Contest. I do watch. But sometimes I wish I didn`t. But it doesn`t matter. That artist is actually most likely to win. Bad = good. Actually; if you hit that high for more than 30 seconds and wear a huge gown like in "My fat gypsy wedding", you have a pretty good chance at winning. But to get there...not easy...I applied once. But that is not on my path. I have another path. Everything you thought you wanted that didn`t happen, didn`t happen for a reason. I am not meant to stand on a stage and scream. (I had a metal song! πŸ˜‚) But someone else will proably use it for something completely different in the future. No matter what happens; in the end I am having the last laugh. Are you able to laugh at yourself today?

Let`s talk about it πŸ’–



Like, share, and just click click click on the buttons! Don`t care which button, just freaking CLICK like this blog is an arcade game from the 80`s! πŸ‘πŸ˜‰ 


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09 December 2022

Published December 09, 2022 by 10 comments

Christmas is back...


Here are some of my Christmas songs from the past and other "stuff"...

Enjoy the weirdness! πŸ˜‚




In Norwegian for my Norwegian super-fans:




MY FABULOUS Christmas series in Norwegian (Yes! I was weird on purpose!)
 

Like, share, and just click click click on the buttons! Don`t care which button, just freaking CLICK like this blog is an arcade game from the 80`s! πŸ‘πŸ˜‰   



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08 December 2022

Published December 08, 2022 by

No coffee - no brainee!



So, who is my biggest hero? Coffee Annan of course!


Some really intelligent quotes about coffee:

Who needs chocolatte when you have coffee latte?


I don`t shit, I just coffee...(Whatever that means. It sounds like my life, though!)



If you steal my coffee I`ll show you my mokka.
I am gonna mokka you down with my coffee.


No sugar for me. My brain fuels with coffee only.


A coffee a day keeps the ADHD...ALIVE!

      

If you don`t have coffee I`ll just leave...















Photo taken from my video "What`s wrong with pink?"

I have a never ending  to - do -list...

And I am scared to look at it...




LIES!

  
The actual truth.


Do you feel the same way? I don`t drink just one cup. I have several cups. I have tried decaffeine. It made me want to drink MORE coffee! Lets form a group called "Coffee addicted people trying to QUIT". But first we`ll have to drink enough coffee to feel "ready". I`m not ready. Are you?

Let`s just screw trying to quit. They say we`ll never get dementia if we keep on drinking. I don`t remember when I had my last cup of coffee. At least I know who I am...

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Published December 08, 2022 by 2 comments

If it works, why change it?

You might BELIEVE that you have a great idea. But is it really that great?

I always try to find new templates and new designs for my blog(s) I have two.) But I always go back to my original template. 

WHY change anything if what you already do or have works? After hours of trying to get back my original settings on my old blog (After trying out new stuff; like "Disqus"(which is old but to me it was new) I finally restored EVERYTHING just 30 minutes ago. I now have a normal commenting section underneath the blog posts. I do not need Disqus anymore. Because I was "disqusted" by it. Okay, that was a weird way of saying it. But it is the truth! (Kinda...)

But this is a lesson actually. IF something works, WHY change it?

I will never change anything ever again. Only if this platform blows up. Then I am forced to leave it.

Today`s note to self: Don`t change anything!

I hope I don`t need to write long articles to satisfy my 3-5 daily readers. Please buy me a coffee! Only kidding! I DON` NEED NO MO` COFFEE, HONEY! (Trying to sound gangstah and from the south of the U.S all at once - which I can never pull off.)  

Even though my alter- ego thinks she can...

Video-proof:


I am SO SORRY for my accent(s) I am from Norway. I am from the countryside. And where I`m from; this is how we are. 

MAYbe too many coffees? This "video series" was supposed to be a GREAT concept. Which started out as an idea. A simple thought. Why don`t I just become this loner, sitting in front of the computer all day, trying to connect with the rest of the world through a camera. I had just watched a whole season of a Swedish comedy series (and the swedes, honey...That is something else!) And I already KNEW that I am "something else" as well. And I obviously had people telling me that I should not be "something else". But I don`t  think they understand this; You can`t turn it off! Ask Jim Carrey!

The "Jesus is watching you" - song is the most cringe-worthy part of this video. OMG! omg! OH MY GAWD! πŸ˜‚ Even the local church congregation would cringe. 

Please do NOT share this EVER! 

Actually do.

Adsense doesn`t pay sh*t. 😑
(I am on 3 dollars at the moment!)


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! (You can write comments in the box below. ) Thanks! πŸ‘
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06 December 2022

Published December 06, 2022 by 4 comments

I am a football idiot!


Top secret to my readers (The 5 people who already know me and actually do know that I`m like this!): I watch every fotball /soccer - match  - 2022. (Have no idea what you call it in English) I do feel that Brazil could win this year. πŸ˜’ But I hope NOT! Time for a change! Morocco was great today by the way. I yell "YES!" and "NO!" to every good or bad move that my favorite team does. I always support the underdog. I have been an underdog myself in life. I know how that feels. But I decided to raise above that illusion. Raaaaaise my frequency! πŸ˜‚ But I am so sad whenever the opposite team loses. Even though I`m happy that my favorite team won. I feel so BAD when I see their crying faces. It IS the end! You can see it all over their faces that it is the end. It`s OVER! Because of this round rubber / leather(?) thing that they kick with their feet. I don`t care what it is. The concept is kind of stupid. But again; nothing beats playing this game. I`ve tried a few sports, but nothing came close to football. I broke my leg playing football once. Went to the emergency`s after many hours in agony. Was told to shut up by a doctor "It`s not like you`ve got cancer!" I was 14 years old and had never been in more pain. That was BAD medical treatment.

Do you watch football / soccer? Who will win? Tell me all about it in the comment section below πŸ‘‡
Life is too short to NOT be a football-idiot, yell and scream and bang your head into the wall if your team loses. Life should be fun. This way it is fun. Right? Just don`t hurt yourself and the people around you! 

And if you`re a player and things go bad, don`t expect the best medical treatment...




So, are you also a football idiot or are you just an idiot in general? πŸ˜‚

Tell me all about it! πŸ‘‡



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. 


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Published December 06, 2022 by 2 comments

Are ads a good idea?


I changed my template today. Why? Well, because I couldn`t get back my original comment section on my blog. And no-one ever commented on Disqus! (Disqus is a commenting system for blogs/websites. People say it`s the best, but nothing ever happens there. (Probably because I have no followers.) But I still don`t like it. Looks like the ones the nerds use. You have to be a nerd to understand it, basically. Even though I am a nerd I don`t want to force the nerdness on other people. I use blogger still after like 15 years of blogging because I never wanted to pay like sh*tloads of money on f.ex Wordpress, for the same templates that blogger uses FOR FREE! I love freebies and that`s how I`m gonna roll. 

Adsense - ads looked UGLY on my last blog template. And I want ads. I just love ads. Yeah πŸ’– Freakin` love it! No, that`s not why. Have you heard about monetization of a blog? There you have it! πŸ‘ They speak so highly about cashing in on that doe...dow? 



The Norwegian Viking-woman in me doesn`t understand the use of slang. But I want to be IN THE GAME! πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘✊

You need at least 1 add on your forhead. I mean front page. There`s a difference between selling your soul to the devil (A crappy deal that came with some toys and a happy meal - Kanye West) and placing one innocent ad on the front page. Right?

How do you feel about ads on your blog / website? Ads are ugly as h*ll. But do YOU get paid? How the h*ll can we get paid nowadays?

Tell me all about it in the comment section below, which is now open to the average person (Even haters. I am THAT desperate right now. Traffic is traffic. 😜)



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! (You can write comments in the box below. ) Thanks! πŸ‘

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03 December 2022

Published December 03, 2022 by

Lately...


I don`t have any recent photos at the moment, so I just have to add this one, overweight and everything. One of my best photos, actually! Ah, I miss those overweight-days. Didn`t give a sh*t about what I was eating....wait a minute....I still don`t! πŸ˜‚ And it is kind of liberating...until you can`t see your feet anymore when you look down. They say veganism is great, but you can`t eat Sushi, then! 😡 What was I REALLY here to do? Write about food or...

Ye (Kanye West) is talking sh*t again. Now he sees something good in Hitler. I was never a fan. And his recent stunt on The Alex Jones Show didn`t actually make me like him more. I did manage to create a song which has some lyrics decicated to him. Will probably add the song in this blog post. (The song is really bad - in a good way.) But if you don`t see it below then I didn`t add it, which is the most intelligent choice of action, to do at the moment if you want people to think you`re still SANE- which they`re on the verge of questioning ALREADY. I don`t know how I came up with that sentence. Sometimes sentences pop into my mind...hello? It`s called thinking. But don`t you think it`s like hard to like stop and think. That kind of sounded like a blonde-joke. But I am indeed planning to change my hair-do into my desired outcome as "Marilyn Monroe", but just not yet. OR when Courtney Love was with Kurt Cobain. Red lipstick, in a torn mini dress. That`s an even better look. Did I mention that I hate looks? So, I am still not sure, though. Sadly, but true; I have to stop and think about this one.

So, anyway...what are you doing today? Here`s my to - do-list...



And here`s my recent vlog...



Thanks for watching my show! πŸ’–

- The show that you can`t tell your friends that you`re watching, because in this society; 
to be different is really taboo, and you cannot show signs that you`re into this sh*t. 
But it is really sh*t, though. Really crappy. (On purpose!) So, yeah, I kinda get it. πŸ˜‚
Stop! STOP! I`m not THAT weird. It sounds like I am really, really weird.😜
And by the way; you should NEVER call your own creations crap. NEVER!



      - Not just crap but TRAILER TRASH - CRAP! πŸ˜‚


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