Welcome to Mali - My Universe!... A blogger/vlogger from Norway.
I will change the photos. These are test photos!
There are no rules! I´m not following the mainstream!
I love colors! It`s almost psychedelic at times!
More to come!

18 September 2023

Published September 18, 2023 by | Leave a comment?

Talking sh*t while being coffee thirsty...


Photo: The wonderful world of Pinterest


Yo! What`s up? Okay, maybe a little cringy. Been super inspired by hip hop in the 90`s lately. Okay, so this has been going on...NOTHING! I have done nothing but procrastinating. I started writing this blog post like...last...week? 

I know there is something called...

Photo: The wonderful Pinterest!

But I don`t know what it means. Because before everything there is...COFFEE! And you all know how I feel about that. 


This video is also published on the YouTube channel Mali - My Universe. You can ALSO find a lot of weird videos on the YouTube channel The Mali Show. I am going to be on both of the channels at the same time! πŸ˜‚ So, click the subscription buttons!

Flexing on the gram / ADHD (Which is the same thing!)


And by the way, I am also flexing on the gram. Instagram, that is! Here is my profile over there:
malisuniverse. Follow me and like all of my posts! πŸ˜‰ You can even binge watch me! I don`t care if you`re a stalker. I need the traffic.πŸ˜‚ I`ve already turned 40, so I am desperate! Yes, I know I look 18. So, I have a free pass.😎 Okay, I have to be honest; I am actually kidding because I dislike attention in real life. (IRL like they say nowadays.) But like Jim Carrey said "You can`t be a star at home" is a fact that I can`t deny if I want to be this blogger / youtuber personality. Actually, I never thought I would say that because that is also at the same time something that I don`t want to become. And the reason for that is because I always wanted to be an actress, that`s IT. No internet personality. But I always forget my line. For that reason I could have never succeeded being an actress. I feel the same about  performing something on stage. Anything actually, because I don`t learn manuscripts by heart. I have ADHD. Even though I have also heard that I don`t have it. By the same psychiatric ward that diagnosed me in the first place. But I actually have it on paper so, what can I say? All I know is that it all goes in one ear, out the other. I also make up lyrics to my songs while directly recording everything in one take only. But then I go over it. I can even start in the middle of the song. And then all of a sudden...well..."kinda don`t like this song...let`s start a new project"...and then I add new empty tracks to a new project, and in five minutes I have created the background track and the first vocals. The last project before this one needs some more brain capacity, thinking, whatever you want to call it. Let`s use the weekend on that one. A weekend easily turns into a year. (That is very ADHD by the way! So, to some degree I feel that the diagnosis is the right one for me anyway.) I just have like ONE restriction in my life: I am NEVER going to perform a song live. Or be handed a manuscript to play Juliet. But I can talk freely for hours.

So, If you liked this short story (which didn`t become short after all!) by me, yours truly, then SMASH the share buttons! And watch me flexing on the gram. You won`t see me flexing in real life, so...

I mean what is WRONG with people? 

Fake people / Let`s celebrate what we know


Why the h*ll are you flexing on the gram? I show how nerdy I am. Not ashamed. Not trying to aim above my own limits in this world. Not trying to be anything more than a 10 second celebrity. F - listed celebrity. (Listed as F*cking loser of the 2000`s with a one hit wonder - video (That I tried to remove myself. But decided to don`t give a damn instead) A person who can`t even spell the word celebrity. I actually can`t; have huge errors when I try to say the word. WHY are so many people faking a life on the internet? When you meet them in real life you have to ask yourself if you`re being catfished. And why don`t people read more instead of making up stories about the world. I used to watch conspiracies too in the past. Realized that most of it is BS. Kind of entertaining but still...ain`t got time for this sh*t! Realized that the only thing I can be is a realist. Finally! I kind of used to half heartedly believe in the spirit world. Which probably is something that could exists, but we can`t see. But we freaking can`t see it! So how do we know? And if we don`t know, why do we bother? I just don`t understand people like a guy called Durek Verett. That is super weird. All Norwegians know who he is. Just by measuring the pulse rate on somebody, all of a sudden, you know all about their life? Did you go to school to learn this? Why are YOU giving yourself this role and title and place yourself above all other people? You`re an alien and cancer is just something you give yourself because your soul is a negative soul. With "blocks" or whatever. What do you know about souls? Where did you go to learn this? I even feel stupid for giving him my time and energy right now. That has to speak volumes, I think. That is what most Norwegians think. But not a lot speak out when things get weird. I have always spoken out. But I am not WOKE. Don`t get me started, please! (I am not going to write about that.) I have a timing. Everything has to be said at the right time. Durek, I gave you my time today. I will never give you my time again. In a future post. I just wanted to use you as an example of people that we should NOT give our time and energy to. Because it leads us away from proof. This earth, Tellus, demands solid proof.

So, what about the alien topic at the moment? I can totally see that Durek Verret says "Wow, Martha! It is about time! I missed my family members found in Mexico! *Looking at the aliens to find stains of blood but soon realizes that the blood is GREEN!* He is soon to pull out his race card again, like he`s done before, because this is a different race...and so is he...not so important to him that there`s one race, the human race, in this awkward situation. The race card must up..."If I was a pale guy from Bærum (a very posh neighborhood in Norway) I would not be asked to do this job!" Everybody else; "You said you were related to them!"

"I wish I could measure their pulse...don`t have one, OKAY! Can I measure yours!" Secretly thinking:"I need to do this weird stuff on someone" because there`s a need for attention and it probably all stems from childhood, it usually does. It is what makes us who we are. That we KNOW! I am just going to stop this rant right now and just say:

Let`s celebrate what we KNOW!

And let`s not keep our attention on what we do not know. Unless you`re about to find life on Mars with your telescope. And for some reason call yourself Elon Musk. We just don`t have the capacity of doing that. I hope we get a new Einstein or Tesla or Hawkins soon. That could be a game changer. Because the only proof of EVERYTHING is in science. Yes, we do have Elon but he is not an oracle, you guys.

Alien agenda or no agenda...and proabably also a few "UFO crashes" and hooverings outside of The White House. "Incidents" that did NOT occur. Because if it didn`t get picked up by the mainstream news it didn`t happen. That is the reality we have to accept. Although we are most likely not alone in the universe. I think we all know that. Because WE are here. We are also aliens. To the other so-called aliens out there. But we are the stupidest ones out there. πŸ˜‚We could be related to the apes. I think the other aliens think that`s stupid. Just my guess. No, seriously, I`m sure we are smarter than many of the other life forms out there in the universe. But why should we, who are stupid care about something that we can`t measure? Light years away. Obviously; If they`re not too far away than that would just be a new step in science. Because some intelligent people actually READ. Not because a psychic channeled Durek Verett`s family on the dark side of the moon. I used to LOVE those topics. But I one day found the flat earther`s community. OMG! That is some real stupidness right there! But it isn`t more farfetched than any other theory that we can`t measure. The thing is; we CAN measure and dummy test the flat earth theory. That`s why we had people like Stephen Hawkins, Nicola Tesla and Albert Einstein. They actually read too.

Antarctica's Secret Alien Cover-Up | Ancient Aliens 
(Directly copied and pasted from Google.) Hell to the no! I am over it. "Hunting Hitler" was another series by the way. I watched the whole series. Because I questioned history, wanted to be in control and not being lied to by the education system, and wasn`t living in the present. And with all of these series they want us to rewrite history. But why? Get over it! We have issues right now on the planet. We should use our time wisely and build more solar cell panels instead. 

And don`t forget @malisuniverse on the gram! 
I am also on my Facebook page: @malisuniverse (Mali - My Universe)



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! πŸ‘

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09 September 2023

Published September 09, 2023 by | Leave a comment?

They always find a reason! (The French!)


I started to write this a few days ago, but today it`s Saturday so I actually have TIME today to finish this blog post. It sounds like I`m lazy but I am quiet busy, actually. In France!
Thoughts while having a cup of caffeine. That`s when I think the BEST! That`s when I become the smartest. That`s when I prevent dementia, and that`s when I get a little hyper. The best articles are being written, the best music is being made and the BEST BEATS are being created!  Boom BOOM POW! Okay, maybe too much coffee! ☕
Always smile and be happy! I TRY! I even ACT! "Fake it till you make it!" is NOT a lie. Even when things don`t always work out. Being positive WORKS! Here I was in Norway`s countryside smiling like a superstar with no access to the boulangerie. Bakery in French. πŸŽ‚ I did NOT DIE! (Because in Norway we do have a lot of cake too. Lukket ValnΓΈtt is my favorite.)



You sucked on your lollypop at 3 πŸ˜‚


They say that "Average people don`t make a change". And "Well behaved women don`t make history" I kind of have that mentality and personality myself. But I am well behaved, though. I always felt like I had this life mission to entertain (millions!), so I guess that is why I feel that way. But I completely understand if you don`t want to make a change in this world. It`s not for everyone. But it IS something for ME!πŸ˜‚ And I`m not even kidding! (Okay, I am NOT dramatic, like "Oh, I`m going to save the world!") But I NEVER knew WHY! The why was always a big question mark to me and the HOW was even a bigger question mark. It would have been a lot EASIER for me if I was average and boring and just FIT IN. I can be boring and average too (SUPER BORING!), for a whole week, but I kind of always gravitate back into being this weird, nerdy, atypical outsider. And on the top of that; I`m even an entertainer. (Yeah, it`s weird!) I grew up in a society with too much "whatever - mentality" that created a MONSTER! But the monster would not have been created either if it wasn`t for the fact that I was brought up in a certain way. Okay, okay, I`m kidding! (Actually not...) Even though there`s truth to this I like the "monster" or the person I`ve become. It all stems from the fact that I grew up not caring about ANYTHING at all. Which is not my fault. Too much freedom? I come from a farm. But I guess I didn`t find my true self there.

Just like that Italian lady Francesca in the Bridges Over Madison County - movie said;
"The people are very helpful...It`s very nice here...but it`s not what I dreamed of as a child"

Lack of inspiration just destroys the motivation. Motivation is a very difficult thing to achieve. Especially if you`re surrounded by people who are the opposite of who you are. I didn`t even know somebody who knows somebody like me. Or maybe one lady. A cat lady who lived alone and played the piano, was super cool and "French". The Brigitte Bardot vibe was REAL! Very inspired by this, since I already knew for some reason that I was an entertainer myself. I could have been ten years old at the time, but I already knew when I was 6, so...yeah...fitting in was a HUGE PROBLEM. I went into a state of just closing myself off instead. But I came out of the closet at the age of 25. And here you actually don`t have to. This is almost my fourth year in France and one thing you can do in France is...stop caring "orwhatsoever". Yes! About what you WEAR! The French Riviera, baby! If you lack taste this is the place to go. If you want to combine your hippie native american dresses with some bling bling and just go crazy with the make up you`ve come to the right place. If you`re 70 and still have a great body, you can show off your yellowish riviera tan in a coctail dress.πŸ˜‚ And the bling bling! It is totally normal. You can also look like you`re a member of the Norwegian political party FRP by being super rude, bitchy and ignorant. Nobody cares. Haven`t tried this attitude yet. Maybe something to try one day. At the health insurance office! Just trying the French facial expressions could be a start. "I du nut knuw angleish! No english! FRENCH! You are in FRANCE!" and with a very dissapointed facial expression. They act like they have no idea what you`re talking about. With a duck mouth. No injections, just making this expression with the face; like you are a total IDIOT! You actually are, though, You can never outsmart the French culture and their education system. It starts in maternelle from they`re 3 years old. They are smart. And you`re lazy. Did you start school at 3? Where they EXPLAIN WHY you should act a certain way and learn etiquette? NO! Not if you`re Northern European like me. You sucked on your lollypop at 3. 


Looking kinda shaky


I got this response the time I wanted to register myself in the French "securite sociale"; "NO ENGLISH!" I stood there, looking kinda shaky. (Real translation:"Go back to your country!") "How many more times do I have to return now?" I decided to return the next day, which became the next week...and then I met a kind woman who actually "helped me". "Here`s the form that you can fill out!" That was the first page. The second page had all the difficult steps that I had to follow. In French. To get to the next level in France you need a bank account. (They don`t accept a non-French bank. Unless it`s SWISS!πŸ’°) but to get the bank account you kind of have to rent an apartment so that you can show off the last 3 rents to the office, or the 3 last electricity bills. You need the bank to get the apartment, you need the apartment to get the bank account...so yeah...just loving it. And they do not appreciate an english speaking person entering that office! Trust me! They`re not having it! Doesn`t matter how many foreign people entering a year. They are not open for a change. You`re not French and if you`re not a member of the "club", you are not a part of the elite. Elite; which is a name they created. But I`ve learned to love the French no matter how much I hate the culture. I hate baguette...but I actually love it with a spoon of orange marmalade on it. It is not something that happens quickly. It happens over time. This might change if I don`t receive my carte vitale soon enough! (The French health insurance card.) I`m looking kinda shaky after so much white bread. You kind of never know. I just got a contract from AXA to secure myself (for some other private reason (Insurance company) They love insurance companies in France! And they always find a reason!) It was in 15 PAGES! 

So, I`m going to leave you now with a selfmade quote, which I am so good at making;

Don`t think it`s OVER after the first couple of contracts the French want you to sign. They will always find another reason for you to sign more contracts! πŸ˜•

 

 
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03 September 2023

Published September 03, 2023 by | Leave a comment?

1111 has to be GREAT!πŸ‘(And everyday life random talk)


I am greatful for my challenges. They gave me the strength to CONTINUE! Things are ON TRACK! 







The universe is calling my name once again. "Mali, turn on your computer and blog for you life!" Today will start off GREAT! πŸ˜‚ 1111 has to be great. This always happens to me. I have written a blog post in the past, I believe, about this topic.

Here it is: That was one cool number (Shortest blog post EVER!)

I didn`t find the other blog post with more numbers. I believe I wrote one in the past but decided to delete it because maybe the topic is just too weird, but I LOVE NUMBERS! Okay, just kidding! When everybody else wanted to find x and y (Something like that...) I just wanted to find myself, honey. That was ENOUGH for me! πŸ˜‚ And I am still looking for myself. Aren`t we all? When do we stop learning? The nerd in me says: "NEVER!"

Being a nerdy tech person


Wow! That kind of sounded cool, professional and so "Silicon Valley". Yeah...that`s what I am. Even though I am not as boring as Bill Gates obviously is. His computers reflect who he is. πŸ˜‚ But I love computers, though... more than...cake. Not really. Because nothing beats cake. Everybody else all of my young life: "Do you wanna go to the club?" Me: "No" I`d rather work on my computer. So, that`s what I did. I sat up all night trying to figure out why I had a 60 second shut down virus. I wanted so bad to connect to the internet. For no reason at all but my tech obsession. (I even used text-TV before we had internet because I loved the technology.) But my father took the scissors and cut off the internet cable all of a sudden. The year was 2001. I was already like 5 years behind my best friend`s internet knowledge. She had found the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air`s "Carlton-dance" on the Internet. I loved that dude! He kind of had my energy! Dancing to Tom Jones` "It`s not unusual". But my father, he didn`t understand me at the time. Hey! I didn`t even understand me! But obviously he was right. He was always right. 

Photo: Pinterest again!


Vibrant like never before


Here I am probably TOO inspired by Carlton in The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air...
In The Christmas Spirit...Juhuu! This is the craziest video that I`ve ever made! It was even LIVE on my Facebook page! Jeseeees! That`s where I found it! This is the first time I`ve asked myself: "What the hell was wrong with me?"...naaah...I always ask myself that, and that`s how I want to keep things. Whenever I lose myself and forget who I truly am I come back to this video. 


Oh, how I miss Christmas! I used to dislike Christmas for the longest time. But I am BACK loving it like never before! 

But sometimes things don`t work out and you lose your vibe. I am back and vibrant like never before! What about you? πŸ‘orπŸ‘Ž? Actually, I believe that I`ve raised my frequency to a pretty high vibration. And I have that video above to prove it to you. I just can`t waste my time. Because time is precious and...I`ve realized something with time; that time is money. Sitting at a cafe being social (French cafe!) is super cosy, don`t get me wrong, but you won`t get rich sitting on you a*s all day. So, I`ve always had just a few friends during my life. Computer loving nerds! I also love the people who take a backpack with an orange and coffee on the termos, and just find the hardest route to the mountain top. They`ll reach me on the Facebook Messenger chat. Take a photo of a wild animal! I love leopard! Quality over quanity! 


Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! πŸ‘ your photo name


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