23 November 2023

Published November 23, 2023 by

HUGE headlines? No thanks / The bob

HI FANS! I am just inspired by the Norwegian front page news ๐Ÿ“ฐ today!๐Ÿ“ข
Hope that`s okay?

Omg! NO! But I just wanted to try this huge font. It doesn`t really work. The news magazines want to get attention this way. And I don`t want attention. #irony 

Obviously, I want to get as much attention as possible with my blog posts and videos. Because WHY would I blog in the first place? To hide under a rock? NO! I obviously want to show the world who I am. My proof of existence in this universe. But I am not willing to go CRAZY like many celebrities out there. Crazy and without any substance. NO! As much as I would like to scream
I AM HERE!๐Ÿ“ข

I don`t. I could have accepted a few opportunites in the past but I said "No". Because it wasn`t ME! I am my own boss. So, it would work out pretty bad for me. Because I set the standards and I make the rules. ๐ŸŒ  IN MY UNIVERSE! ๐ŸŒ Yes, I know we are many people in this universe. I am not the only one here, but I create my own reality. We all create our own realities. I choose to be happy, positive and creative. I don`t choose to be sad, negative and uncreative. 

Being creative and weird at the same time.






I choose to smile with a natural haircut that they ALL WANT NOW! The BOB! Right?

RIGHT? The BOB, right? Looking HOT!๐Ÿ’ฅWOW!๐Ÿคฏ

Uggh! No! I am really not into this kind of news. It is for the desperate and less educated. I am not saying I am educated, though. But you get my point, right? (The less intelligent? Was that better?) 

I knew this many years ago. The secret. That the bob is a winner! (The haircut!) I was never interested in following the trends. I still don`t follow the trends. Trends are here to be broken, just like rules are! I choose to use retro VHS filters on my videos to create an old 80`s look. That is actually getting more and more trendy to my own confusion. YouTubers are using these effects more and more. NOOO! But I believe life was better in the 80`s. (I was born in the 80`s so obviously that`s why things started to shift for the better! ๐Ÿ˜‚) I am only kidding! I would never call myself "HOT"! I was mimicking the Norwegian newspapers. Because they are really into "HOT" and "SEX" and words like these. The "wow"- factor. And I am not into that at all. (Besides to rank myself higher in Google!) I am just into making quality creative content.๐Ÿ˜‚ Which only the few and far between are able to do, working for the Norwegian newspapers. They only argue right now. They are making a mess and they know it. I think the most popular journalist in the game should create his own documentary website. And create his OWN content.๐Ÿ‘You are a great journalist Tore Strรธmรธy, that`s why I made a song about you in pure TRร˜NDERSK that only the few and far between know. Enjoy this fabolous song: Tore tar feil!

 PHOTO TAIM! Because you didn`t ask...


I chose this photo today because of the haircut. The bob. I am rocking the bob here. But I kind of hate this photo. So not me! Like I am killing my own character. 23 years old, trying to be a "model"? For the first and last time! Just for the attention and to make headlines. In the end it wasn`t me. I quickly realised that. At least it has that 80`s kind of vibe that I love. So, why did I publish it? (There`s really nothing wrong with this photo, but it is really not ME!) Just to use myself as an example again like I always am, that this kind of news is fake. To me! (Or to everybody else. But at least I am not body shaming myself here, that`s a good thing! I look cute๐Ÿ‘And I never regret anything.) But it`s almost like Donald Trump`s fake news. I can`t even say his name (Uggh! I am very sensitive!) and I get the same feeling (Uggh!) whenever I look at these kinds of photos of myself too. And EVERYBODY ELSE`S! Hey! I am tired of your halfnaked asses / fake news all the time on your front pages! NOT INTERESTED! Who the h*ll are interested? I guess only old men (Sugardaddies!) like Donald himself.

I am so glad I found the love of the old VHS tapes.

The EFFECTS! EFFECTTTS! I use them creatively! JESES! ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜‚

PAY ME WELL AND I WILL DO ANOTHER SHOOT LIKE THIS ONE! ๐Ÿ˜‚

#irony (I think you already understand that!)



I am SO MUCH MORE comfortable here! ⇧ The hippie, native American style is really my thing. The Hopi indians knew what`s coming. Interesting tribe. They just looked up in the sky. A new earth is coming! A new universe. 

But I need no new universe. PLEASE! Not when you are in one.





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21 November 2023

Published November 21, 2023 by

You are not your story

I am a very talented model and photographer ๐Ÿ˜‚ Have no idea why Vogue refuses to call me.๐Ÿ˜ข

"You are not your story" is today`s headline on my blog. "Well...that`s not true. Because everything you experienced became the person you are today." Yes, but you can change this belief system. You can go from being a victim (Victimizing yourself) to becoming a winner.๐Ÿ†Whatever you have experienced in you life is not going to destermine who you are FOREVER. Yes, it will determine who you are for a moment in time. But not forever. That has to stop if that`s the case!

"Oh Mali! Stop pretending to be this life coach without having an actual education in the field!"๐Ÿ˜‚ I totally understand what you`re going through right now. You might even get this cringy feeling, like "She doesn`t know these things. She never studied these topics"๐Ÿ™ˆ. You`re right! I never did! Who cares? (I was just using myself as an example. So that I don`t have to make fun of other people.)

My BEST photo EVER! It`s SO GREAT that I had to credit it "malisuniverse.com"๐Ÿ˜‰.  #irony


Be careful of judging people just because of their lack of hours listening to a boring teacher, who doesn`t have a more advanced intelligence than the rest of us. And who didn`t change the world any more than, let`s say...YOU can! I just want to remind you that Steve Jobs dropped out of college. I am NOT saying that YOU shouldn`t get an education. That`s not my point. The point is; you are not your story. IF you struggled in your past you still have an important voice in society. Maybe you`re selftaught at something. Your personal and practical experiences in life are way more important than sitting on a chair for hours listening to someone who does not understand YOUR story. Most people can at least list one reason that made them struggle with their own story. No-one is perfect. Perfectionism doesn`t exist.

If I should ever be invited to an event perfectionism would be the last thing I would think about. I would be too busy making headlines. Stories. Even though I am not my story. But the desperate performance artist in me still says "Yes, tell me what I am!" It`s up to you how you want to rate my art. If I was a famous artist I would prefer if I was BADLY rated because that actually makes the front page. Just like some of the stories that we`ve heard about recently.๐Ÿ˜‚


 Don`t quit realizing your dreams! Be yourself! 

 Just KNOW THYSELF! 

Yes, it IS super, crazy easy! Good luck! If I can do it...what do we say here, fans? That`s right, my fans; you can do it! *All in choir at the same time!* WE CAN DO IT! ๐Ÿ˜‚ (Just a little joke again here.)

Until the next time we "meet"; 

CIAO!๐Ÿ’•

Yes, the best songs are created wearing a wig! ๐Ÿ’–


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20 November 2023

Published November 20, 2023 by

Of course I`m happy in the "new age"!


Maybe you have been judged in your life. In your past. You are not your story. Go on with your life! Be happy!  Like..."Of course I`m happy!"


There`s a glitch in reality. This is a movie. Your movie. A movie that is playing FOR you and not against you, like an enemy. The only enemy is always YOU! What you focus on creates your reality.
So, stop being negative TODAY! 

"No! there`s no reason to be happy anymore on this planet". Yes, there are a lot of reason why you do not feel good right now. But I choose happiness. And so should you. If I can do it, you can do it.

"What NOW?" is a tricky question when you`re feeling stuck in life.

What am I going to do with my life? What`s going on in Gaza? Is this going to affect ME? Yes, it is already affecting you.It is affecting all of us. But we can not go and hide under a rock. We CAN but that doesn`t change anything in this world.We have to speak out instead. And be who we truly are instead. Free ouselves instead. There has always been wars. But there`s also another war going on. An invisible war. A war going on inside our minds. Confusion and depression is this war. This is what lead to the wars we see in the world in the first place. What can we do in this situation? We can ALL start to speak our truth. The truth has to come out. Who are YOU? Did you meditate today? (Okay, that was a joke. I never meditate myself.) Maybe this gets a little too new age for you. I understand that. I am not new age, though. I am too "crazy" to be a new ager. I mean, I am a comedian and that is how I live my life. I don`t get dragged down some spiral. It just isn`t who I am because I am going to see something to laugh about and make a joke about. The spiral down the rabbit hole has a lot of funny rabbits to create memes about. Ain`t nobody got time for NOT being ourselves right now. "No, I don`t want attention. I really want to do this one thing, but NO, I am afraid of what my friends will say!" Just remember that friends are friends for a reason so do it anyway. Or maybe they are just so-called "friends"? Yes, we all have them. Or used to have them in the past.
 
Even though I don`t really understand the new age movement, we are in a new age, where the truth is coming to the surface. So, the age is actually moving. We see this all over the news and more is going to be revealed soon. It all has to happen to create a better earth. It is like that pimple on your face; It gets worse before it gets better.

Time for a coffee break! And remember...

Photo: orientaltrading.com



Please DO NOT give up or STOP your creative energy! And your creative flow! I don`t!...


If I can do it - you can do it! Let`s do this together! Do NOT feel like you`re on a guilt trip for feeling good and alive! 




This was my kind of art. Edgy, colorful and with a message to humanity. STAYING ALIVE! I made these in Photoshop. 

Photos in this blog post: Created by me except for one. 



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! ๐Ÿ‘
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14 November 2023

Published November 14, 2023 by

You fake like a cheap copy from China!


One of my most popular articles is "You fake like this birkin!"  So, I am going to write a new article about things I believe are FAKE! (And if YOU are a fake idiot like the type I am going to explain to you in this post, then there`s HOPE! STILL!....I believe. Maybe...So, I am going to post my post in the "You can do it!"- category.)






LOL! ๐Ÿ˜‚ That was so funny! Not really but...didn`t find any cool "Fake memes" pictures on Google. 

I hope you are not fake idiots like the ones from...

The Milli Vanilli group


This pop group did not only lip sync to "their songs", the group members lip synced to sombody ELSE`S vocals! That`s crazy! And that`s so FAKE! I have no words to how fake that is. JESES!๐Ÿ˜ง

Video:


That was some next level FAKE sh*t, right?


Don`t you come around with your fake sh*t! I am all about REALNESS! I may not be the best music producer in the world and I do NOT play the keyboard very well. Hey! I STILL did it! Because I am REAL. I am serving you the REAL DEAL HERE. You can`t get any more real and weird. But what is better? FAKE? I made this song on a freaking Windows computer that had almost broken apart with black tape on the sides to keep the harddisc inside the frame. And they couldn`t tell the producer "Well, we kinda feel like...umm...we shouldn`t ..I mean...fool the peop"? "SHUT UP! We`ll stay on this contract for one more year!" Get it? (The deceit?)

Proof that I don`t get anything at all and that is how I wanna keep things...Keeping the mystery! So, why don`t you have a listen to my song "My world is yellow"? Like China! Okay, that was a bad joke! ๐Ÿ˜‚


Although you were just introduced to a huge meme, I finally found the Google memes...

This shirt had no meaning and I don`t know why I chose this picture. But fake cheese is really serious, so I am gonna keep it anyway.
Photo: amazon.com



I see them and hear about them but I do not involve myself in their mess. On my early journey (From 18 to exactly 30 (Before 18 kinda doesn`t count in my case! I AM a case study!๐Ÿ˜‚) years old I listened to the haters and the naysayers and jumped down the rabbit hole together with the other so called cool "kids" (Cool adult kids refusing to adult! They were about 2 people, me and that other person? Well, sometimes it takes one person (NOT my female childhood friend. She is awesome! This is a male)  Anyways...) in the surge to experience "culture". But in the end I turned out to be one of the coolest "kids" I know. Not even kidding! ๐Ÿ˜‚

So, you can learn here! Learn from this pop group. To NEVER accept anything less than what you truly ARE! NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS! They felt forced to stay on the contract. They wanted to be on stage and this was their chance. Obviously, there`s a limit to how fake you can become. This really destroys the Norwegian walnut cake! And I would never do anything less but eat that cake to the last spoon...

Fake version...

It does not look right. Photo: passionforbaking.com


Real "CLOSED OFF" Walnut cake is supposed to be thrown on the plate...because you`re desperate to eat it. Listen honeym IF you`re just standing there being fake and afraid you`re doing it WRONG!

Thrown on a paper plate by one of your coworkers. You were the last person he served! Because you were the least important employer in that job. (I feel a future blog post coming soon!) They almost forgot you! You cried as you jumped on that bike home from work that day.
*THAT FEELING* Photo: Flicker - user



Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! ๐Ÿ‘

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05 November 2023

Published November 05, 2023 by 1 comment

Blogging: I found an old header...and other things....


I just found an old header. Yes, I`m gonna use this one!

I made this one in 2015. It had other color options too. 


I started to blog in 2006 in Norway, on a blogg.no - blog. But I have deleted it since then because I realized that I only wanted to blog in english. I have since that time had plenty of blogs! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Why? Because I am addicted to writing. Addictions: Writing, creating music, creating videos, being on YouTube for that reason, being an entertainer, comedy is my thing, drinking coffee. Life starts after coffee! ☕


I collected these images like 15 years ago...









How did I look like around that time? This was 17 years ago...
I was 23 in these photos...






Thanks for stopping by! 




Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! ๐Ÿ‘

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Published November 05, 2023 by

Blogging: WHY don`t you own a blog? ๐Ÿ˜•


This is going to be about blogging. I struggle from time to time with my two blogs. But now they`re just two. I had one more. But my mind couldn`t handle too many blogs. I had to stop throwing tea parties for my wonderful neighbors. 

If you only believed me.

I am just going to be very quick tonight and just say that I could NOT edit the header design in html no matter how much I tried in the old blog template. So, what does that mean? Well, I now am using the same design as The Mali Show, my other blog. Now, isn`t that interesting and an important thing to tell you?...It changes the world, doesn`t it? NOT. But I just wanted to come here and tell you this. For no reason at all. Because I see that everybody else does things and posts things for no reason at all, too.
(And believe me you, you are boring!)

Oh, the mess I`ve made. I have gone back and forth on these templates tonight. NOTHING worked! Only this one works. This template is by far the BEST one I`ve tried.๐Ÿ‘It is awesome!

Blogging is hard! is another blog post from the past. You can check out that one.

I know so many people that should have a blog. But that is probably because I am interested in their lives. (Oh Yes! It brings out the gossip magazine in me! And I know it is not good, but if it wasn`t for people like me, and my other friends from the past (schools and other places) I don`t know where you`re mystical creatures are hiding. If you had a BLOG I would KNOW, if you`re all just fiiiine and I hope you all are, then bless your hearts! (*With a Southern accent!*) You are the ones I actually want to spy on in this weird way (Some people are so interesting!), but if we didn`t exist and weren`t desperate enough, then...how could the gossip blogs ever survive? You think social media is enough? There`s no personality on social media. To be honest, social media isn`t social AT ALL! I don`t understand why people don`t choose to blog. Or write at all. Writing is my passion. One of my passions! CREATION is my main passion. It covers everything I love.

I may return to continue on this blog post. But for now; good night! 

Hi, I am back again! (The next day) I am now changing serious ERRORS on my blog. I am going to learn / study the html codes regarding the header issues. It is very difficult. But this is the design I need. I need it to be a website, not a "blog look". I know I said the other blog design is awesome. It is but I already use it on The Mali Show, my comedy blog. This is not the comedy "corner". This is where I will share everything else. 

"So, why do you even blog? WHY ? It is weird." Writing is my passion. I just wrote that earlier. "Why don`t you write a freaking BOOK?" Well, I don`t think I will. Not now anyway. I get easily bored by my own "book projects".  The story stops. And it should be a little lenghty, don`t you think? You can`t design your own book-design over and over again and change the headers  etc. I am addicted to editing more than anything else. Perhaps coffee was a good candidate not long ago. I am now laying OFF the coffee. (It is always great to believe there`s hope...but then you get back to the coffee machine and the Dolce Gusto is the one I have my eyes on. I wish it wasn`t so.)

It is Sunday and tomorrow I am BUSY as h*ll again. We had fall holiday in France until tomorrow, so I am going to have to work hard today. And I will write another blog post again today. Have a great Sunday! Peace!✌

Do you have a blog? 




Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! ๐Ÿ‘

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