All we need is a solid "Ha ha ha!"
Stories written while I was being offine. Which is TO ME a lot more serious than any so-called virus threatening the planet (sad to say but it`s the truth, probably says a lot about today`s humanity. But I guess I`m an alien anyway.)
I started to write because I talk a lot and nobody wants to hear me "Bla-bla-bla" for hours. The "ha-ha -ha " part comes in when I Iaugh to my own jokes. Because nobody else laughs. My contribution to this world and one of my best /worst abilites is to act really childish. But this is also why I don`t look a day over 15. (In my own head. And that is the only place where it matters!) Even though I am in my late thirties. At least that is how I feel. So, how do you feel young even though you`re old? It is easy. You stop caring about what others think of you. "But then they think I`m crazy!" YES! And why is that a problem? What others think of you is not any of THEIR business. You live this life once so you better make the best out of it. And if being a crazy maniac is who you are, then that is who you are. Nobody can stop you from being who you are.
Hit your head in the wall!
I was stuck and I felt trapped. I felt like I had no life. I was so bored. But then a family member told me; "Okay, If you`re so bored, why don`t you go and hit your head in the wall!" Funny! And so I did. And just by doing that, I felt so much better. I laughed so hard. It really made my day. I was thinking about what that crazy family member had said and it really makes sense. If you`re really that bored, you might as well just hit your head into the wall.
People that need healing
During the past months I have met people that need healing. Stress and depression are the most popular issues. If you can put it that way. (I don`t care how you put it. This is MY WORLD. This is Mali - My Universe.) They all just needed a real "Ha-ha-ha!". A really long and good laugh. I did a healing session on a super stressed-out family member (since I am a self proclaimed healer (I have taken healing-lessons) and she laughed and said "What the hell are you doing, Maria?" (She can never get my name right no matter how long I have known her) as I held a crystal over her head. "This is your problem area number one", I told her. "This is where all of your problems are!". "Ha-ha-ha!" She laughed and laughed. Later she came to me and told me that I had helped her. I had really made her day. "See you tomorrow, Maria, but brush your hair and I will come back to you!" I don`t take it personally because I know I don`t brush my hair very often. Sometimes only four times a week. But in her language, which is Arabic, this is actually an expression that rhymes. Very cool but sad that the rest of the world does not have cool expressions like that one. I have learned so much from an old civilization with a rich culture. And even though I see myself as a 15 year old youtuber-blogger, turning 39 next year, my family member sees me as a free woman. Free in the kitchen, free in the way I do things. Free to her means strong, talented, knows what she is doing. In the kitchen I throw the noodle spices in the noodle soup like it has been my job since 1995. (Noodle kitchen in Thailand!) If I made a documentary about her and the way she describes me, and the way she describes random topics in general, the world would laugh. Instead the world cries. The world needs healing right now. The world needs a solid "Ha-ha-ha!". Mother earth is sad. Her birthing pains has never been louder than right now. But I do feel that mother earth is giving birth to a new world. I am waiting patiently and I am being hopeful and greatful. Greatful for what I have. I know there is more to come. I know it is out there. I just do not have hold of it just yet.
120 chickens
My family member which I choose to call "Mr. K" has had some really cool but weird ideas in the past. Business ideas. But it didn`t really work out. I asked him. "What kind of business did you start?"He answered with a huge smile on his face "I collected 120 chickens on the tiny balcony outside of the bedroom window!". And showed me the tiny balcony. I laughed "Ha-Ha-ha!" and so did he. In spite of all the noise from all the hungry chickens, his wife didn`t complain at all. She probably thought it was a good business idea also. But like I said; It didn`t work out. How can it work out when all of the chickens started to become sick? One by one they started to turn their necks 90 degrees, and "Mr. K" had to admit that something is just not right with the chickens. In the end only five of them were still alive and he had to realize that he had failed. He went on with his life and his job painting the neighbor`s wall again, as the famous local handyman that he is - until a new business idea would take over.
Maria Merzedes
My name, Mali, is a country in Africa and nobody in Africa likes the name. "Why don`t we call you Cameroon instead?" Ok, that was a joke, but since these stories take place in North-Africa, I got a new name. A few names actually. Mabrouka is one of the names. A very old Arabic name. And another name is Maria. Which slowly, over time became "Maria Merzedes". Names are a huge thing here so every person has at least five nick names.
Offline
Every month day 10 I am offline. Because I have the cheapest wifi connection ever. Why? because I am in Africa. (North-Africa.) Why I`m in Africa could be a book of it`s own. And I am not going to reveal why I am here. I am here like you are any other place in the world reading this. Stuck with a virus that is messing up you life - which planet earth still has to deal with in...2021?? Can`t belive it`s still a problem. But that`s another topic which I WILL come back to in the future.) Why are you reading this by the way? Are you really THAT desperate? Okay, that was a joke. Obviously you are reading this because you are a huge fan and have stalked me for years. Or you just found me recenty and you`re thinking; "Omg! What a weird person!" Yes, and I am proud to say that it does happen a lot!) This weird person is offline now, and it`s a struggle. I am feeling forced to write so that I can continue to be weird for you guys. Should I write an e-book? I know that I am not ready to write a real book yet. (Or ever!) I have to publish. I have to hit the publishing-button at least twice a week. I am addicted.
I will be back to explain more. I have to charge this wreck of a Windows computer. I really miss those Apple-days. But it`s funny how some people evolve backwards.
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| At least I`ve got 10 million dollars in my bank account! 😎 |
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