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| Self-help series on YouTube NEVER happened. Just like many other things that never happened in my past. This has to be a still image of a video. Yes, I didn`t look very serious. |
I posted a previous post about ADHD and that I might NOT have ADHD, but I have just come to the conclusion that; I have ADHD and I am proud of it. And if I don`t have it...That`s gonna make me normal, then! NOT a good idea! 😂 Who wants to be NORMAL?
Here are my two posts about my confusion:
I have realized that ADHD is different in every person. And that women also have a different version of ADHD than men have. (More an inner chaos.)
I could not work a "9-5 like" Like "everybody else does" but I am not ashamed of this fact.
WHY could I not manage a regular job? Well...I was just too creative. I am being serious. And I couldn`t find any topic / job / whatever that means - that could handle ME and MY energy. That is exactly how it felt like. I do not mean that I am better than anybody else. I just felt like I was different. Like I never fit in anywhere. It just wasn`t meant for me.
So, what is meant for me?
- Blogging. (Writing in general as long as I don`t have to write for a company) I use this blog as my platform. Writing a book (the idea) is too boring right now. I don`t think I am going to do it. EVER!
- Making videos with Final Cut Pro. Hate-love relationship! At least there is no boss supervising what I am doing because if there was - I would just say "Stop it!" and laugh. So, NO boss! 😂
- Making music with Apple Logic Pro. (It can not be Windows!) Hate - more than love. I still do it. I do it because I am musical. If I wasn`t I would simply just NOT do it. Would have been impossible to work with my own vocals. ALL musicians know this. About. Themselves.
- I have an on and off love and hate - relationship to painting. Is is VERY OFF right now! Mostly black strokes with red strokes. Very messy, indeed. And SAD! The fact that I am willing at this stage in life to paint in the genre contemporary art. I know exactly WHERE to buy new canvases...still I don`t do it. The road there has never felt farther away. When I walk by the windows of the shop, I just take a peek and I think to myself "Contemporary art is just so horrible! Big colorful butts and huge colorful asses! Kind of like...Picasso?.. I am in the South Of France, but..." That has kind of been the situation for me. I go home empty handed with my mouth full of Croissants. And I realize more and more that I am going to look like one of these fat ladies in the modernism paintings if I don`t stop eating these Croissants.
- The stock market (Mostly just a hate-situation. For now! But I am not giving up.)
Picasso was not bad, but...I don`t know...I love colors but I just don`t really love the modern stuff. He was very timeless, obviously. The guy probably had ADHD.
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| "The Dream" (1932) Painting by Pablo Picasso |
So, this is how hard it is. Hopefully people with ADHD can relate. That`s why I`m writing about this. I have a few interests here above as you can see. These are the interests narrowed down to a few points. Five to be exact. I also enjoy walking in nature. Hiking. I like it when it moves. I don`t take too many photos for that reason. Because photos don`t move. But they capture the moment. Which is also a great thing. But Adhd people tend to not capture the moment that much, they tend to always be a step ahead. I like the volatile. When it moves - I`m in! Kind of like the stock market. I always look for the top volatile stocks. It also kinda reminds me of an ADHD - brain. We want to be around other high energetic people. Like ourselves. To do highly energetic activities with. And if you`re just not right. You`re kind of out. Because we`re selective. The same goes with jobs. You have to be overly excited about your chosen topic. I never was.
Well...Just a little bit. But a little bit is never enough.
I have realized that in this life, to succeed you have to be a closer. Just like the stock market. If you forget to close the position, you`re actually screwed. You could be screwed the next morning. You have to finish what you started. Close a deal. And you have to do it very well.
(Oh no, I sound like Donald Trump.😕)
I have also in recent time realized that I couldn`t work a regular job because I could not psychically see the money coming in. (They kind of showed up on the bank statements, yes, but WHY? I would like to understand what was going on exactly. In the meanwhile. Before they ended up there. A hands-on experience with me looking straight into a monitor.) I would rather like to see what I am doing. I like to see the numbers. I also would like to see that the numbers are not too short. 😂 That would be a game changer for me!
They say that money isn`t everything...
Well...
"THEY" don`t really know what they are talking about.
These thoughts above are kind of ADHD - like, don`t you think? WE want to be in charge, right?
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| Let me have high tea, Victorian style, while I figure out what more to write about. |
I will return to write more later. Adhd - people do not sit very long with ONE thing. Thanks for reading so far!
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| I love Spongebob. Photo: Pinterest |
It`s the next morning now and I came back to finish up this blog post. Yes, that`s the way I write.😜 I can write for days. But on the same blog post. I`ll be back to post this blog post eventually today.
Going out to eat Sushi now...*Grabbed my wallet and phone and left in a hurry*
Many hours later: I ate Sushi, came home and edited today`s video footage. And then I uploaded a new video to my YouTube channel. I will publish my recent video in a blog post soon...
Pay attention to "I WILL"...but not yet.
Conclusion: The ADHD is OBVIOUS. 😂
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