Go where the story leads you

I am a fan of Stephen King, the horror book author, who wrote the screenplay The Shining and he always says "Go where the story leads you". This is exactly what I am doing while writing too. I have no idea what`s going to happen in my story. And I never know the whole plot. I have only limited myself to blogging so far. Because I like that more. I can express myself in various ways, also through making videos.

Photo: The Shining. Written by Stephen King and directed by Stanley Kubrick

Here I am as the scary twins, as a joke...

This is not a popularity contest. I do whatever I want. I just sit down and type and maybe something happens...perhaps an idiot of a character is being created in my head. It is what ALL writers experience. But sometimes I`ve taken my characters to my YouTube channel, and MAYBE that has confused a few people now and then. Because they think; Mali has really gone crazy! But do I have to do something artisticly that people LIKE? NO! NOBODY CARES! Believe me; I don`t care myself. If you want to succeed in something you have to let go of the fear. 

I have all this time just gone where a story has led me. A story that is taking form inside my mind, and then come into reality. That`s why I always end my blog posts with "Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously." IF many of the stories happen simultaneously, it can affect your attention, and that is also why I didn`t always pay attention in class when I was younger. If you go and tell some psychologist about this you might end up with ADHD. And MANY other diagnosis if your unlucky that day. I did not end up with anything else but ADHD. Because I was pretty lucky that day. (Okay there`s more to it than that and yadda yadda yadda) Some psychologists actually believe in David Ickes`s conspiracy theories themselves. Not the actual theory but that you`re not delusional if you believe in it. You know, about the fake moon landing and stuff. It becomes a real thing if enough people believe in the topic. You`re not crazy anymore now. Because how can millions be crazy? Lots of millions of people believe in UFO`s. I never believed in these things, though. I have a hard time believing anything at all. I have to see it. I am very visual. I believe we have to work hard to get somewhere. A UFO is not here to pick you up, honey. You`ve got to learn history from scratch. The Law Of Attraction blah blah blah used to be a topic that I used to read about. But it is only blah blah blah. You have to actually DO something. 

My experience with the Law of Attraction: I once visualized an old wooden ladder. Because someone freaking told me to just test this freaking useless method. "Visualize a wooden ladder on a house wall!"

Stupid me tried out this method and of course the next day all I ever saw was wooden ladders everywhere. BUT WHO WANTS THAT? Nobody. In the end of the day you just want to knock someone down with the wooden ladder. No huge bank transfers to my bank account has ever happened with the Law OF Attraction either. Even though I did visualize myself laughing my way to the ATM. I guess a bank robbery would be an easier task.

But THEY SAY, the shamans and gurus (should we listen to them?) that it can give you the direction you need to create your dream life. A perfect story. Your story. By staring intensely everyday into a wall of perfect pictures. Of your future. (And a Windows computer is NOT on those pictures!) Just so that you don`t ever forget what your passions are. My passions are: I know you`re not interested. Let`s move on! No, I don`t believe in a lot of things. But I decided to believe in myself. So that my story can become great. Still working on that one. It`s an everyday battle with yourself and I am so greatful that this challenge does not involve no UFÒ`s. Ain`t got time for the aliens. Where did you come from? (The ALIENS! okay, just kidding!) Learn that first and then maybe in the very far future we ARE the aliens, you know. But we don`t want to be them now. I`ve always felt different and you might call it "weird". But they freaking look weird.

And a story could lead you somewhere. (This is me trying to force myself back on track to the topic.) My awesome, colorful stories are in VHS. At the moment. That is how I see myself and he world. Born in the 80`s, honey. Not always welcomed of course. 😂 I love the retro / second hand / thriftstore feeling. Yeah, it`s a feeling. It`s a vibe. The overly educated in the medical field want to label creativity with something. Just to put you somewhere. Where they can find you when they need to. Like on an old dusty shelf. "Good at absolutely nothing." That was what I had heard most of my life. Just known for the very famous BUT underrated blah blah blah. Yeah, you should hear me after a couple of coffees. Talking too much has never been a good sign. Talking about art has also not been very welcomed in these circles (which I have been in and out for a very short time just to find out "What the heck is wrong with Mali?") It was my own choice to do so. In my younger days. The answer, which I`ve come to the conclusion to myself is; Nothing. The curious case of Mali is a case that will never be resolved, I guess. But ART is what`s "wrong" with me. Art was what didn`t make me the lawyer I though I was going to become. That my father told me to become. He had a good point...until I sat there...with a distracted mind and a boring book...he didn`t have a good point anymore, sorry. SORRY but NOT SORRY! A story was about to be created but I stopped that story pretty fast. This well intented story could have gone South pretty fast. And the South wing is where the waiting rooms are. No, sometimes you just have to figure out who you are, before someone figures out who you are FOR YOU. Not a good idea. 

The waiting room - situation. You`re not afraid of the results because you know the result kind of don`t matter. Like I said; I don`t really am a huge believer in a lot of things. But I have learned to be open minded. You kind of have to be open minded while waiting on your ear tag. What the he*ll does Shakira, the better looking version of myself, look at me so intensely for on that VOGUE magazine? Just to remind me how far away I am from my dreams? The sofa is hard like a bus seat. They obviously don`t want us to feel too comfortable there. So that we don`t come there too often. Why they`re always blue I have no idea. While waiting on my turn, I am starting to imagine the Jehovas Witnesses on their door to door ministry. I always imagine wild scenarios on very strict places. Just what IF I screamed: "F*ck you , fu*ck everybody. I do whatever I want. This is MY LIFE! The MALI SHOW!" From one of my top watched YouTube videos. But this was WAY before my YouTube days. I became mentally clear and healthy after really starting to create videos. It really made me great. It made Mali great again. Almost like Trump used to say. Not a huge fan of Trump. But he is like a weird cartoon character, I have to admit. And I sometimes impersonate him. Why? I have no idea. I thought he was cool until I realized he is a piece of sh*t. I even listened to the "Art of the deal" audio book way before he became president in 2016. And I had seen him being friends with Oprah, and his wedding was pretty wild. Melania is a gold digger with capital G. 

Alright...back to the waiting room...even though we didn`t actually leave, did we? Sidetracking myself again. And that is just one of the reasons why I fooled myself to enter the waiting room in the first place. "She got ADHD!" Kendrick Lamar song. I like that song. I just don`t want to be like...

You know when you part of section 80

And you feeling like no one can relate
'Cause you are, you are
A loner, loner

That is not the pictures of the life I`ve had on my vision board recently. Of course the lyrics get way worse than this. I can relate to this, though...

Because we born in the 80's that ADHD crazy

People are entering and exiting through these doors. On the other side of one of the rooms I am going to get my ear tag. You know like a cheep. Oh, how I love to be one of the crowd! I really thrive like this. #irony. A tag with a number, which in my case was the F90. And then leave with some meds. I am so glad the meds didn`t help. So, they just told me never to take them again. With other words; I am a free spirit and ain`t nobody or nothing going to stop me. I came here to create / write and entertain. Any other job, a random 9-5  just feels empty and meaningless to me.

Maybe "Idol Mali", a character once created because I followed a wild story once, smiling back at you could make someone smile back at her, and then "voila". To use a French word that I love so much; the patient was cured. The depression just left their body. I want to be that person. That makes someone smile. So that is why I am doing what I am doing. I am collecting smiles on my journey. And hardcore laughter. Some people are even throwing themselves behind the coach in total embarrassment. That was actually a comment that I got once from someone many years ago. And it kind of stuck with me. Because I was thinking "That was too bad! Did throwing yourself behind a coach hurt you? I hope it didn`t" That has to be the definition of embarassment. This is how I want people to feel. This is GREAT! I wasn`t good at a lot of things in my past but I am good at this. But I wish I could do so much more of it. You know, spread my energy like a wildfire. So, my first novel is going to be called "The Smiling". Kind of inspired by The Shining. But in my novel I am the person that helps someone on the psychriatric ward feeling better about themselves. Because of my infectious smile...

And if you wonder where the bad guys are. They hide in the shower.

This photo was taken while I was plotting out my next creative move. Character building had already started and a new story was about to be written down. Taking notes is always good. But the great ideas always get stuck with me. And I always come back to them. No need to write it down. I am just waiting for the right time.

Congratulations! You have now read a blog post that turned into an article about how it`s like to have ADHD. Sidetracking myself like never before. I hope you enjoyed this wild ride.😂

My goal is that my life is NOT turning into a Windows Computer. I am hoping for a bright blue sky. Not a bluescreen. An amazing future without too many errors. Among all the fruits in the world I choose to sit there with an Apple, creating amazing retro art. 

Thank you for being a tourist passing through Mali`s Universe. Thank you for being a witness of all the stories going on inside my mind, simultaneously. Like, share and comment! Thanks! 👍