In this post I am going answer burning questions that nobody ever asked me.
Since I was on the Norwegian lame wannabe version of the Norwegian Idol in my twenties, would I want to become a popstar?
The answer is "no". First of all; that train left the station many many years ago. (Since I am in my 40`s (Born in 1982. I am very proud of this fact. And I repeat my age over and over again so that people actually realize "I am that weird 43 year old lady". YES! 😂) And reason number two why I would never have become a performing artist is because I hate standing in front of people to perform something that you have to remember the manuscript to, lyrics of a song (OMG! I freak out by the idea!) or a speech about the state of the world. It can happen! IT SHOULD happen! But I would be mute, though. That is already the state that I want this world to be in anyway so I would be doing a great job. It is what we all want and need. Just shut up! And that`s the answer to everything. If I had lines to say I wouldn`t have remembered them anyway. Also a very good point (To me, I don`t know about you); if we didn`t remember anything anymore, that would be the best that could happen to this world, the perfect reset. Just like my brain freeze that happens as soon as I walk up on a stage. (I have never been on a real stage by the way.) Even if only ten people are looking at me I get that same brain freeze. I mean, if you don`t have anything intelligent to say, then don`t talk. I can only remember what to say IF I am being interviewed by someone because I don`t give a damn about my answers. So, the answer is a "no". I could never have become a performer of some sort. Not even a clown at a circus.
Now a question from a real reader. Wow! Can`t believe it! It`s from my real life friend (Wow! Real life friend? NOOO! Don`t stand there and mope in disbelief. I have a friends, okay.)
Okay, here we go:
1. How does it feel to be so well-known, yet at the same time unknown?
2. Why watch Skutviking when you could watch Jektviking’s vlogs on repeat?
3. How does Idol-Mali make music?
1. Most people don't actually know me. They know a character they’ve decided I am based on a few minutes of me singing (like a weirdo!) and complaining on Norwegian TV. That is OKAY. I have no interest in being understood by strangers. I recommend being misunderstood. An example; I was thin on TV many yers ago. Go to my YouTube channel in 2026 and you`ll see how fat I am in 2026. And "How does it feel to be unknown"? Well; I am not unknown in my own universe, hence the title - and description of my blog "Mali - My Universe - the queen of lofi since 2006". So, that is a feeling that I can`t relate to, sorry. And as I always like to put it "I`m sorry, but not sorry"
2. Skutviking in the Northern Norway is the best Norwegian vlog channel EVER. Nothing happens at all except for some very beautiful boat trips during summertime. Which I love! J`adore! You`ll find Anne and Jørn swimming around the boat. And Jørn said he wasn`t good at swimming and imperfection is what we need more of. People who dare to say "Hey! I am not good at this. Let me embarrass myself for you". And that is OK! Jørn also loves to open the hood of the car. I love that. I love to see people with their own issues. The battery of the car is dead every time. And that reminds me of my own father while I was growing up. Always underneath the car or opening the hood of the car, trying to fix the engine. The car started eventually. One time he told me to "Get out!" And then he ran beside of the car while trying to start it. And there I was standing...while he was running. Ok, I was like 14 years old. But then he picked me up again. The car lasted like five more days. This vlog channel has a lot of the same everyday life issues. Cars are one of them. They always get another "new" used car for some reason. Jørn also ends every vlog with four hotdogs on a plate. I love this show. It is great. But the dude calling himself Jektvik on YouTube is an obsessed Apple fanboy. He spends one week editing a 10 - minute vlog of a half naked lady suntanning on a rock. With his 10.000 dollar Mac. It gets 50 views. While I get billions of views using lo-fi equipment. I even had a WINDOWS computer without a screen once. How is that even possible? Very possible indeed because it was hanging by the cables. And I edited like crazy with that f***ed up thing. I eventually got it taped to the hard drive with Gaffatape. So, obviously that`s why I`d rather be watching someone eating four hot dogs on a plate every night at exactly 22:30 - than watching some perfectly edited pro vlog by Jektvik, with his many different cameras. (Since I can`t even make ONE camera work.) Also, there is a point in late dinners. I don`t know exactly the point but...I so badly need a point right now. A late dinner is better than no dinner! I get it! The imperfection again. There is nothing worse than hot dogs, to be honest. But the problem is; there is nothing that is much better than hot dogs either. I`ve been there myself. And it wasn`t that long ago. So, I study their eating habit for a few minutes while waiting for Jektvik`s vlogs to be uploaded on YouTube. And I am also feeling a little shaky by now, and yes, your suspicion was right; I always look for something to eat in the fridge while watching the vlog channel "Skutviking". Late night eating is one of the reasons why I`ve become this fat. I recommend both channels. Skutviking for it`s beautiful nature and everyday life issues in the Northern Norway. And Jektvik`s vlog channel is also a great channel with mostly vlogs. I am in some of them as well. He is an artist and a good friend. I roasted him a little bit here but trust me; he has roasted me MORE. 😂
3. To get that perfect retro hiss noise that they all dream about nowadays (The retro lofi -musicians.) I love the red color in this game. I turn the levels up to 12 db. As red as possible! (Recommended if you love that "Is this when I become deaf?"- feeling) Then I add some cool filters like DISTORTION! I love 8bit the most. That video game - sound. Then I find a stupid beat somewhere. And then I sing. The singing-part was never my favorite part. With every sound that I make I feel that an Idol jury is just judging me inside my own living room. I totally see their heads in the corner of the room. I get this feeling "Am I allowed to do this? "NO!" is the answer that I get, but I still continue...I find the "soft glow" - effect to try to sound better but STILL I hear that Mariah Carey - disgusting parody-voice from my audition on Idol in 2006, but this time more like a chipmunk - voice, but without the chipmunk - effect. I hear that I am bad, but I continue...and she won`t stop, YO!✌
I see that MORE questions are coming in...but I will make a part 2 tomorrow. It is getting late. 💤
